Homeschooling is such a blessing! Moms who are homeschooling their kids love the freedom that we have to educate our children in whatever way will work best for them. We appreciate all of the extra time that we’re able to spend with our kiddos. We enjoy dreaming about lesson plans and coming up with all sorts of fun activities to do with them.
Families who choose to homeschool have the opportunity to build strong families.
Because homeschooling families spend so much time together, they have a good chance of creating strong family ties. Unfortunately, it’s also possible for homeschooling moms to become so focused on their children that they no longer give enough attention to their spouse.
Our family personally knows several Christian homeschool families whose marriages have been tragically split apart by divorce. Don’t let this happen to you!
Here are 6 Ways for Homeschooling Moms to Strengthen their Marriages:
1.Don’t deny each other – Men typically require S-E-X more often than do their spouses. A wise wife will recognize this need and won’t put her husband off when he wants some time with her in the bedroom. If we deny our husbands on a regular basis, we are making it harder for them to keep their thoughts and actions pure.
By the way, this is Biblical. 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
2. Make him a priority – When your husband calls you, answer the phone. If he is trying to get your attention, be sure to give it to him. Don’t make your husband wait in line behind your kids all of the time. Serve him his food first. Be sure to stock his favorite foods in the house. Make him meals that you know he’ll enjoy. Ask for his opinion. Be intentional about doing things that will make him feel special.
Obviously, we can’t always give our husband preferential treatment. There will be times when the kids need to be put to bed, or fed, or changed, or a myriad of other possibilities. If we’ve made it a habit to give our husbands the attention that they crave, however, we’ll find that they will be patient when we need to do other things.
3. Leave white space on your calendar – Because most of our husbands are away from home all day long at their jobs, they appreciate being able to come home and relax in the evenings on occasion. Be intentional about not filling up the family calendar with too many activities. Try to do as much of your errand running during the day as possible.
There are different seasons in life. When you have very small children, there will be times when you hand the baby to your husband as soon as he walks through the door so that you can have a much needed break. When that isn’t the case, however, it’s good to try to give our husbands some time to relax now and then. We need to remember that even though they weren’t home taking care of kids all day long, they were away at WORK not at REST.
4. Date your husband – Let’s face it – women are typically the social planners in the family. And we are also the ones who usually dream about romance. If we want to keep those warm feelings alive, we should be willing to plan the date nights. Don’t feel pressured to plan these weekly, if that just isn’t realistic for your current phase of life.
However, if you can even swing monthly date nights, you will see a huge change in your marriage. You and your husband need time ALONE together to reconnect and to talk about something other than the kids and their education. Try to find a hobby that you both enjoy and can do together.
5. Greet him with a kiss – When your husband comes home from work, drop whatever you’re doing and greet him with a hug and a kiss. Let him know right away that he’s special to you and that you’re happy to see him. By the way, kissing your husband, flirting with him, and just generally having fun with him are all great ways to strengthen your marriage. Keep it fun!
6. Don’t ignore your appearance – When we’re home all day long with the kids, it’s easy to neglect our appearance. Be sure to brush your teeth, try to do something with your hair, and occasionally change out of your sweat pants. This isn’t something you need to do every day; but remember that men are visual. They will appreciate our effort to clean up for them now and again.
Homeschooling can become all consuming and our husbands can feel ignored.
If we want to come through the homeschool journey with our marriages intact, we need to remember to pay attention to our husbands as well as our children. Well known relationship counselor Barbara de Angelis says, “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”
Obviously, it isn’t just the woman’s responsibility to work on the marriage. However, there are plenty of other women out there who will give our husbands the attention they crave if we fail to do it.
Let’s work on being known for how well we treat our husbands. Our entire family will benefit from us having stronger marriages!