This is the time of year that inevitably lends itself to personal reflection, and many of us create a list of resolutions to focus on for the next year. One of the things I want to improve on for 2015 is making my husband a priority. Not only that, but making sure he knows that he is the most important person in my life!
The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God should be, and deserves to be, our #1 priority (Matt. 22:37-38). The Bible also talks about the importance of marriage and the relationship between husband and wife.
So many verses specifically speak to women about the role that a husband should play in their lives (Eph. 5:22-24; 1 Cor. 11:3-9; Gen. 2:20-25; Gen. 3:16-20; Col. 3:18-21), and these verses show me that my husband should be the second most important priority in my life.
Of course, the dynamics within a family are always changing, and there are times when each person has certain needs that must be placed before others. But in general, I believe the healthiest households are created when a mother places God first, followed by her husband, and then their children close behind.
100+ Ideas to Love and Encourage Your Husband
It is so easy for parents to focus so much on their children that their marriage relationship suffers from neglect. I think my husband and I have done a pretty good job of not allowing our relationship to take a back seat, but I know that I could do a much better job of making sure that my husband feels respected, loved, and encouraged by me.
With this in mind, I have put together this list of all different ways in which I can do just that, including gifts, prayers, words of affirmation and encouragement, date ideas, meaningful conversation starters, and more.
Is receiving gifts one of your husband’s love languages? If so, here are some ideas to build him up:
- Framed Photo – Put one of his favorite photos of you with an encouraging love note in a frame. I did this in our first year of marriage, and to this day, my husband says that it is his favorite gift that I’ve ever given him.
- Intimacy box/jar – Put $1 (or whatever increment you decide) inside a special container every time you have intimate time with your husband, and save it for a big anniversary trip in the future.
- Traveling journal – Keep a journal for writing love notes to your spouse and leave it somewhere for them to find it each time you do (i.e. nightstand, car, fridge, table, anywhere). Then, he can write a note back and leave it somewhere for you as well.
- Something He Needs – Save up and buy something that he needs but hasn’t wanted to spend the money, or buy that something in place of something that you were planning to get for yourself.
- Romantic Bedroom Gifts – No man in the history of the world has ever been disappointed by a gift or surprise for the bedroom!
- Love Notes – Leave them anywhere, such as on the bathroom mirror, in the car, on the nightstand, etc. They can be as basic or elaborate as you’d like. You could even put lined paper or something that says “I love you because…” inside a frame and leave it in the bedroom for writing notes to each other with a dry erase marker. Click on the photo below to see how this cute little project was made.
Your marriage relationship probably started as a friendship where each of you had lots of fun together and enjoyed each other’s company and conversation. Don’t forget to keep having fun! Plus, husbands need to be romanced sometimes, too. My man likes when I plan a date for the two of us or surprise him with an overnight trip. Here is a list of links to some awesome date ideas, including many that can be planned for right at home after the kids go to bed:
- 79 Date Nights
- 150+ Date Night Ideas categorized by price range
- 50 Fun and Cheap Date Ideas
- 30 Ideas for a Date Night at Home
Words to Say
Some men thrive on words of affirmation, and I compiled this list of loving and encouraging words from here and here. They may seem simple, silly, obvious, or mundane, but a simple word can go a long way and hold a lot of power when spoken in love. Even if you do not feel this way 100% of the time, speaking truth and life into your husband’s mind will build him up and spur him further toward becoming the man God wants him to become.
- I love you.
- I trust you.
- I believe in you.
- I value your leadership.
- I admire you.
- I feel safe with you.
- You were right. I was wrong.
- I appreciate all you do for our family.
- I’m glad I married you.
- I missed you.
- I want you.
- Thank you for being dependable.
- You’re an awesome man of God.
Prayer is so powerful! After only 5 years and 3 children, I have come to learn that nagging accomplishes absolutely nothing. Instead, praying for your husband can make all the difference in the world. It is so important to pray for him through good times and bad and even for things that he does not struggle with because footholds often emerge where you do not feel vulnerable. These two links provide excellent ways in which we can pray for our husbands:
Connection and Communication
There are times for words and times for silence, but it is so important to a marriage relationship to connect and communicate well. Here are some links to lists of questions that may be fun and eye-opening to talk to your other half about and encourage some meaningful conversation:
- 110 His and Her Questions
- 50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on Date Night
- 28 Questions (at the bottom of the page)
Other Ways to Love and Serve Your Husband
- 100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way
- 12 Ways to Love Your Hubby without Saying a Word
- 6 Ways to Build Up Our Husbands
I hope this list inspires you to work on becoming a more loving and encouraging wife and gives you a lot of ideas to help show your husband what he means to you. None of us are perfect, and we can all improve! Do you have any insights or suggestions to add? Feel free to share with us below!