I compiled this list to help the “ban-homeschooling” fanatics come up with some better arguments to make their case.
Homeschooling should be outlawed…
1. Because nothing motivates children to learn like a standardized test!
2. Because if we just spend a little bit more money, public school is bound to work.
3. Because ignorance is bliss!
4. Because we’ll never have a level playing field, as long as homeschoolers keep over-achieving!
5. Because bullies build character!
6. Because homeschoolers aren’t social; they have little interest in sex, drugs and alcohol.
7. Because who will authorize bathroom visits?
8. Because learning to sit down, shut-up, and follow instructions is essential in any democratic society.
9. Because sure George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Abraham Lincoln were homeschooled, but just look at Clinton, Bush and Obama! They all went to school!
10. Because if students didn’t spend all their time sitting in classes, practicing sports and studying homework, their non-union parents might impact their lives in an unauthorized way.
11. Because insanity ISN’T doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
12. Because how else will children learn to raise their hands?
13. Because it’s the only way governments can ensure children have the freedom to learn… the “official” truth.
14. Because government schools are doing such a great job!
15. Because is learning to read really that important?
16. Because nothing helps children grow into mature adults, like spending all their time with immature children their own age.
17. Because science is believing “bang” everything came from nothing and “poof” man crawled out of a mud puddle.
18. Because a student-teacher ratio of 30:1 isn’t crowded – it’s cozy!
19. Because no one can tie childhood obesity to school lunches and 7 hrs. of sitting.
20. Because if the Government has to force you to do something, you just know it’s for your own good.
21. Because Common Core is going to cure everything ailing our schools!
22. Because teachers have to eat too.
23. Because teacher unions were created to help kids learn better!
24. Because God commands schools, not parents, to raise their children in the Lord. Right?
25. Because Bibles are overrated anyway.
26. Because more adults can join the rat race when governments provide “free” babysitting.
27. Because school is the only way to teach children where babies come from.
28. Because irresponsible parents can’t be trusted to give their children free condoms and birth control.
29. Because when Russia, China, and N. Korea have school, it’s indoctrination. But when we do it, it’s EDUCATION!
30. Because government bureaucrats care more about our children than we do.
31. Because gangsters, pot-heads, goths, sluts, jocks, nerds and class-clowns AREN’T socially awkward.
32. Because nothing prepares a child for the real world, like being excluded from it!
33. Because medicated children are happy children!
34. Because parents see energy, while teachers know it’s really ADHD.
35. Because great leaders like, Hitler, Marx, and Stalin all agree that homeschooling is really bad!
I’m sure this list is incomplete. So please leave a comment, letting us know what you would add to the list and let me know which reason is your favorite. If you like this post, please follow us on facebook. Also, check out The Dumbest Argument Against Homeschooling EVER!
Discover What School is REALLY Doing to Kids
I was thinking whaaat?! Then I realized the style 🙂 There is a lot of truth in those statements. Tara.
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Thanks Tara! Yes, I think Britton may have lost some people with the title and sarcasm. For those who don’t know, we are HUGE advocates of homeschooling!
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced, people think you’re actually stupid! ^_^
Stephen Densmore says
These 35 reasons are seriously f#$ked up and lame. I for one was home schooled and I am more against it that anyone. Children need a fair chance in life, a fair chance to be normal an not indoctrinated with some bull shit religeon that worships a non existent gowd . Home School is founded and based on indoctrination. I dont usually speak my mind on public forums but all this religious based bullshit all around the world makes me sick. As advanced as our human race is, its hard to believe that we indoctrinate our children with a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories. Then on top of that to homeschool them and cut them off even more from the real world. parents that homeschool there kids should be thrown in jail for life for child abuse. By the way I come from a religious family, and was homeschooled for the first few years of school so i know what im talking about.
Stephen, you obviously had a rough family life, especially if you feel that your experience homeschooling was so terrible that you’d throw your own parents in prison for the rest of their lives and everyone else who chooses to homeschool. You sound like a fascist, but thanks for sharing you opinion just the same.
I just read your article from 2015 on Texas home school Laws. I finally had my day on court where it was proven that our child’s mother ran a “sham” home school. The case destroyed the relationship with our child, and has bankrupted me costing over $50,000 in legal fees and court costs.
The state of Texas provides no enforcement and places that financial burden on the parent. I reached out for help from numerous local and state agencies with not a single one could provide any assistance in the matter. I hope you can help bring attention to the broken system that Texas has created whereas the only means of enforcement of Texas educational laws lays with the concerned parent and at their financial peril.
I’m sorry to hear that James. The system isn’t perfect, but it does lay the burden of proof on the prosecution. We should be innocent until proven guilty. Not guilty simply because we homeschool. Also, a ‘Sham’ homeschool is your opinion. There are unschoolers whose children go on to be very successful members of society. Some schools will damage your child way beyond doing nothing to educate them. So, really it is your preference as a parent. Dads do have a hard time in custody battles and I’m very sympathetic to that because I believe Fathers are so important to the healthy development of a child. I suggest you read Revealing school to be informed about what is really going on in schools and how even the ‘Sham’ homeschool can be more beneficial than traditional schooling.
So in your personal opinion, home schooling should be banned over your crumby life? not degrading it, but to be honest, you really have no reason whatsoever to say things like that. Religion isn,t all fake, but darwinism is. and think of someone else who has had a harder life then you, then compare your right and theirs to say anything
Ali H. says
I feel sorry for this dude, but I hope he knows that not all homeschooling families are religious or fanatical (or indeed both!) Our family is secular- by a longshot- and homeschool because we’re wildly disappointed with the quality of the public education system.
To Matthew, down here at the end of the thread, please don’t be that guy. Not a single one of us gets to declare hard truth until we’re dead. We do what we feel is our singular truth, but it’s ours; whether Christian, Athiest, or somewhere else on intricate web of religiosity.
Jane Simmons says
Ok, you actually DON’T know what you’re talking about.
1. You are judging homeschooling on your experience only.
2. About 99% of parents who homeschool aren’t child abusers.
3. Homeschoolers are perfectly normal, unless you call bullies, cussers, and inferiority a “normal” chance at life. You are so, so, SO idiotic to think this. I don’t know who agrees with me, but I think it’s you who didn’t get a chance at life. Because I sure did. I know many other homeschoolers who have a very prosperous life and job. They are also really smart.
4. If your family was religious, they wouldn’t “child abuse” you and you wouldn’t be cussing online.
5. And BTW, we didn’t learn about a bunch of fairy-tales. WE learned the hard-core truth about stuff like the Civil War and Horishima.
6. We were not cut off from the real world. Nope. Not even a little bit. I had twenty-five friends, of half who had social networks. I guess you mean to say that since we weren’t raised to curse, do drugs, and drink, we’re bad, right?
I think that your parents probably picked out a bad homeschooling course, becasue trust me, I didn’t get that frame of mind from my homeschooling.
Also, just to clear some things up, I think all public/private schoolers are okay, unless they think like this guy. And I never said that public schoolers and private schoolers are taught to do drugs and drink. They are just stuck in the middle of all that.
Great article! Number 7 made me think of homeschooling in the 80s. One of the obstacles the Missouri legislators actually threw in our way was trying to mandate that the kitchen and bathroom codes for schools must be applied to anyone who wanted to homeschool. (Among much other ridiculousness.) I imagine it was similar in other states. It was a hard-fought battle that we should not take for granted. If you think your state government is happy to allow homeschooling, you should research just how hard they tried to keep it from being legal.
Thanks Jamie. Yes, you are so right. I know things are a lot better than they were, especially in Idaho. Hopefully it will stay that way!
Thank you for blazing the trail for us newbies!
Because doing a week’s worth of make up work after being sick is a great character builder. Who cares if they have to stay up late to do it?
#36 Because how else will kids learn to form straight lines?
As a homeschool graduate, I have to admit, we were always horrible and getting in a line for some reason lol. But I do know how to raise my hand 😉
Linda Walsh says
funny, but not so funny. We put our son back in school for a time..a very short time and the one problem the teacher talk to us about was that he didn’t know how to stand in line. But he learned it pretty quickly, like the second time they got in line. :/ still, worth talking to the parents about. blah.
We practice standing in lines at the supermarket. 😛 Seriously though, my children go everywhere with me, doctors appointments, dentist, bank etc, and I don’t take along an electronic baby sitter for those occasions. They have plenty of practice waiting patiently for things.
I am a home schooling mom and stumbled across your blog via pintrest. I was intrigued by the title and decided to check it out. I have to say this list is terribly mean spirited and full of snarky generalizations. There are wonderful teachers and administrators who work arduously with character and integrity. There are also bright, integrity filled children who are a product of pubic education. May we not belittle the good that can be found in public education just to make homeschool education look a little brighter. Whatever avenue of education we as parents choose to take, superiority is not a lesson we want our children to be taught.
I am sorry you feel that way. Sarcasm is always a little bit more biting, but my purpose was not to insult, but to awaken people. Yes, there are great public school teachers out there (my mother is one), but I am sorry, not all education is the same. Homeschooling is better!
School is the socialist dream, where governments, not parents, raise children. The results have been devastating to our families, churches and especially to our children. I can see why some might be offended, because sometimes the truth hurts.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I am sure you are a great homeschooling mom!
I am not sure if I agree that “homeschooling is better.” This is a stereotype and a generalization just as much as “traditional schooling is worse!”
Yes, homeschooling has the potential to be better. However, it can also be much, MUCH worse if the parents are lazy, not devoted to the child’s learning, etc.
Not all homeschooled children are going to turn out as geniuses. Not all traditional schooled children are going to turn out unintelligent/lacking.
becky tucker says
Because how else will my kids,or myself, know they are “behind” unless a “PRO” is there to constantly remind them they just aren’t as smart as the “normal” kids – oh yeah! if teaching her to read with THAT method Doesn’t work there are MANY others! But better to spend a few years killing her love of learning right?
eva oc says
SPOT ON! 🙂
I got the sarcasm and snickered throughout the post, yet Bridget has a point. Sometimes as homeschoolers we have been bullied so often by people who think our kids suffer, we can be guilty of piling on and bullying people who for their own good reasons make different choices.
I know what you mean, but I also feel that it is time to fight back. Public school advocates have done a great job turning public opinion against homeschooling, and it is time to point out the how ridiculous their arguments really are.
Thank you for your comment!
I think the post does not attack the teachers and teacher’s job, but the system that rules schools in general in our days. I beleive there areamazing teachers out there wit a call and a passion that are navegating against the system as we speak, for the sake of the children. We have to admit that new generations of teachers Have been tougt a water down and social and political sensitivities that 40 years ago were not tolerated. I homeschool, I am a teacher, my parents are retire teachers, and all my extended family has one or two teachers in their family core. I am proud of my family, but we have seen the fall of standards and the passionate call of many, not all, teachers in new generations.
My husband and I laughed all the way through this. We had some “Thank you”(s) throughout the whole post, as you wrote down everything I say every day. I’m the most sarcastic person I know, so this was a great post for me. People need to lighten up!! Yes, there are good teachers out there but good teachers aren’t being allowed to be good teachers!!! They’re forced to all teach the exact same thing as the teacher in the next room in the exact same way. That is why many teachers who have been teaching for 25-30 years are giving up. They’re retiring long before they wanted to because they aren’t allowed to TEACH anymore. I heard this from my daughter’s teacher when she was in public school. Thanks to Common Core she was retiring because she didn’t feel she could give the kids a good education anymore, like she had done for 25 years.
Sharon Oelke says
Thank you, Bridget ~ I felt the same way even though this may have been an attempt at humor! I spent over 30 years working in public schools as a teacher & administrator not because I NEEDED a job! I felt I was there to love, nurture & teach children, be an example of integrity to those who didn’t have it in their homes. Choice is great & I supported the choice of parents to homeschool if that was best for them but to be critical of those who didn’t or couldn’t IS mean spirited. I would ask the Manors to consider a less critical approach to something that is different from what they choose.
E. Stewart says
Everyone could homeschool if they really wanted to – and do a stellar job. If there’s a will, there is a way. Mass institutionalization is never better for children…and for every teacher who tries and cares (of which I was one before my children were born) there are 100 who are sold-out drones for the system. In fact, even the ones who care can’t make an impact because the system is designed to foil them (read The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto, a decorated public school teacher, to learn the truth you were never taught in teacher training or by your union). The simple fact is parents are best – and if we can un-indoctrinate our culture from the 100 years that have convinced everyone that they are incompetent as “just parents,” our country might survive.
I like your post, however, like BritonL, I feel not all schools are that bad.
I live in an area that has some really good public schools and great teachers, however there are also some schools that need closing! It should be a parents choice and I will always fight for that!
I liked your statements, they are true. I would like to add that only a homeschooler can get to go on “field trips” that you have fun and learn unusual facts at any time. This is what my children loved the most! Class in the park, the creek, the museum, the grocery store, the beach, the mountains, just about anywhere we wanted.
MISTY PHILLIPS says
LOVE THIS!!! As a homeschooling Mom, we sometimes need these reminders as to why we do it and how important it is!
I was intrigued when I first saw you share the title pic, wondering where you were going to go with this, but of course it was sarcasm =) Fun post!
Thanks for a hilarious post!
I come from a *long* line of public school educators. My dear Mother, of Blessed Memory (who was one of those public school teachers), would have LOVED this post – probably would have shared it with all her friends.
I don’t see it as mean-spirited *at all* – those great Christian Public School teachers who watched the Bible & Prayer being removed from their classroom by force & replaced with hand-tying mandates to use ineffective methods like sight reading – even when the teachers know that these methods aren’t working – would be most supportive of someone like you sending a wake up call.
Best of all, it’s incredibly funny : ) Thanks for a fun post!
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I agree. As a former public school teacher, now homeschool mom. I agree. It’s not the teachers that are mean spirited. It’s the fact that their hands are tied when it comes to what to teach and how to teach it, if they get a chance to teach between all the standardized tests. In our state the whole month of March, except for one week, is dedicated to standardized tests. Can you imagine how much could have been taught in that time!! Then let’s talk about all the PAPERWORK that goes along with the test eval, the follow up for the ones who didn’t ‘pass’, etc.. That was always my complaint when teaching, if they would just forget about all this needless paperwork and just let me TEACH, the kids would excell beyond our belief!! But I’m begining to think that is exactly what our government DOESN’T want to happen!!
Thank you so much!! I will be/am homeschooling my 3 year old daughter. My husband and I have four teens that have sadly attended public schools their entire lives. It has taken a little piece of each of their souls but they aren’t willing to make the change to homeschool that they need. We have chosen a new exciting path with our youngest. A few family members disagree with and constantly question our decision. I am going to frame this and hang it on my wall for everyone to read 🙂
Mrs. R. says
Love, love, LOVE this!!! Thank you so much. 🙂
I happen to completely agree with everything you’ve written here. However, I feel your article might be more compelling had you used proper grammar. I am truly not trying to be snarky!! You might enjoy this article: http://www.businessinsider.com/a-guide-to-proper-comma-use-2013-9
The same thing bothered me!
I felt the same way! However, I notice much worse grammar being used in business and schools that relatives attend these days. I think overall as a nation we could use a good dose of [voluntary] grammar lessons in our daily lives.
Sabrina Backer says
i just had to stop and say Hi and tell Britton I LOVE his name. So much in fact, it is my 13 year old son’s name! Only the 3rd one I’ve ever “met” – oh and I love this post also.
If kids are homeschooled, who would give the death stare to any parent considering dismissing their child for an alleged doctor’s visit?
Beth Gibson says
Love, love, love this!! I went to public school until the 7th grade, then was homeschooled. I now have two daughters in public school and two sons that I homeschool. This post is very funny, and certainly very true!! Thanks for writing and sharing it!
Marcella Bach says
I agree that it’s time fight back, and inform and enlighten the masses regarding the methods of education, and what they each truly mean for our children. Keep up the good work!
Taking vacation when everyone else in school is such a drag!! Lol!
Deb Nyberg says
I love this but your #9 appears to have some bias. Many of us homeschool our children without a need to voice bias adverse to someone’s beliefs.
Found this being shared and debated on Facebook. I love it and can completely identify. Sounds like something my husband would have written, poor grammar and all…but he’s a math and science genius. He can’t place a comma; I can’t figure out where my pictures go when I download them. Great job, Britton, whoever you are.
Sarah Ertzberger says
Oh my goodness, I love this!!
Missy @ Dot-to-Dot Connections says
I am a homeschool mom, married to a homeschool graduate. I love this! Thank you for sharing!
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Jean Lawry says
Thank you for posting this!! I personally think that some public schools fail some kids. As parents we are willing to give more time and energy to our children.
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Tonia Reenstra says
I love this and it is all the reasons to home-school and i cant tell you how many people say some of these to me and i just laugh and turn and walk away or hang up and i have a autistic 4 yr old hf and she is at a 1st grade level and she is doing more in homeschooling then she ever will in public school
Kelly Heflin says
#40 It’s not fair to the homeschooling families that they must pay school taxes, but are not allowed to use public school facilities such as the library, gym, labs, and sport complexes for activities. They also must pay out of pocket for all their curriculum from specialty stores when it should be supplied by the school district.
Kelly…no, it’s not fair…but we all pay taxes to support our public schools whether or not we choose to homeschool, send our kids to private school, or even have school-age children at all. It’s not just homeschooling families, but none of us can use the local public school facilities unless we have children who attend that school.
Moreover, as an ex-public school teacher, I think it’d be great if school districts provided supplies for homeschooling families. But, unfortunately, they don’t even provide sufficient resources for their own teachers and students. Every year I always spent my own money on supplies for my classroom…some of what I spent was tax-deductible…but, in any given year, I usually spent more than the maximum amount I was allowed to deduct from my taxes. And, I taught in a middle-upper middle class district!
Tina H. says
Informed homeschoolers I know would not want the “free” supplies and resources even if offered. Why? Because there is never, ever any such thing as a free lunch – and virtual charter schools prove that. Even though it was originally our own hard-earned money, once we give it up to government in the form of taxes, they feel the right to regulate the snot out of anyone seeking to use anything associated with those funds. No thanks.
Right on, sister!
Why would you want public school curriculum?
Most homeschoolers DO NOT WANT any supplies, ESPECIALLY curriculum, from the school district. We want NO money or support from the government for our home schools. When they get their hands in it, they want to control it. Letting them fund your school, is inviting them in. No thank you.
I understand that homeschooling children is a brilliant idea if you are blessed with the finances and are a naturally hard-working, creative and tireless parent. I do not believe that it is necessarily ‘better’ than public education, however. Every school, every teacher and every homeschooling parent are different, some are absolute miracle workers, others are terrible… My last thought goes to those children who come from lower socio-economic families that don’t give two hoots for their children?? Without public education, how would they ever learn to read, write, socialise, etc?? Where would they learn morals and values?? How would they ever be capable of getting a job?? I think you under value the miracles public education does for so many.
Taunya Marie says
I was one of those children who benefited having public school to get away from home. I would have LOVED homeschooling. You had me until you said this:
Where would they learn morals and values??
REALLY? You really think the school system should teach morals and values?
What morals? What values? My kids were in public school and a majority of the kids were the meanest, rudest, most obnoxious children. And that was elementary school. I can barely stand what goes for “morals” in high school.
The kids that I would want my kids to socialize with had involved parents. They learned their morals/values from their parents. The parents who didn’t care, were the very same kids causing problems at school.
It’s NOT the school’s job to teach a child how to behave, act and treat another person. Unfortunately, our society has decided it is.
Since I don’t agree with parenting by “survival of the fittest” herd mentality, my kids are now homeschooled.
I would MUCH rather be around a group of homeschool kids than a socially-acceptable public school kids. I’ve been around both.
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Great points! I totally agree that school is the worst place to teach children how to socialize! See, http://bluemanoreducation.com/homeschool-blog/homeschool-socialization/ .
Tina H. says
Research clearly shows that socio-economic status has no bearing on a homeschooled child’s success: http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/200908100.asp. In other words, homeschooled kids from poor families do just as well as those from wealthier families. And it doesn’t take a mint to homeschool – so that’s a myth as well.
Additionally, how bigoted/biased to presume that poor people don’t have morals and values. I know plenty of people with lots of money who are exceedingly immoral. And look at Hollywood and Washington DC: filled with millionaires who appear not to have a moral bone in their bodies.
Unfortunately, Dr. Brian Ray’s 2009 study was a self-selected sample, which means that it only shows results from families that chose to submit their test scores. This means the study “proves” nothing. If fewer low-income families tested their homeschool students (in states which didn’t require testing), we can’t draw conclusions about low-income families’ results. If not all homeschool students’ scores were submitted, we can’t draw conclusions about how all homeschool students compare with all gov’t school students. http://dissertation.laerd.com/self-selection-sampling.php
Tina H. says
Well, then include anecdotal evidence in with the study. I personally know homeschooling families all across the socioeconomic (and cultural) spectrum. The kids from poorer families are just as accomplished as the ones from wealthier families. I will maintain that it is nothing short of mean-spirited and possibly bigoted to presume that only more wealthy people can homeschool well.
Tracey F. says
In defense of this comment you made: “Hi, I understand that homeschooling children is a brilliant idea if you are blessed with the finances and are a naturally hard-working, creative and tireless parent.” I have to say, you don’t have to be rich, naturally hard-working, creative, OR a tireless parent to homeschool. In fact, I would get a lot less sleep if I wasn’t. I’m not really creative. I buy curriculum. Who is naturally hard-working?
I wish the children in public schools could learn to read, write and think for themselves. I do not understand why they won’t teach children the important things.(BASICS FIRST) No child should attend school for years and not learn to read well. — I was this posting on Facebook. Thanks. What fun!
My boyfriend was home-schooled for 3 years because his parents didn’t think the public school was teaching him to read satisfactorily. His mother was a teacher. He still has major troubles reading. Did I also mention he is an identical twin whose twin underwent the same thing? Perhaps it’s not always environmental. They also went to provate school for a year. It didn’t help.
I homeschooled, but I am also a retired public school teacher and currently substitute teach in public school as well. I taught K-12 – every grade at some point – sometimes regular educations, sometimes special education – a much wider body of experience than the average teacher. At least 95% of my public teaching experience was in Title I schools in socio-economically depressed areas rife with drugs & gangs, CHILDREN with criminal histories, etc. So – I read this list with great interest. I am not a fan of sarcasm, but I do realize it does have its place in our world. This list did not offend me because I understand that, of course, it is not directed at every single person that works in the public school sector. Consequently, while reading the comments, I was sorry to see that many do not realize that sarcasm does have a legitimate place and function – not to tear down individuals, but to clarify points that have become obscured. Thank you for working toward that end.
Oh – just one more brief comment in response to “lazy” homeschool parents – I am not too convinces such people even exist – for long. I’ve seen them “start” to homeschool only to abandon the effort in very short order because it is just too much work – and, sadly, sometimes because they really don’t want to deal with their kids all day. The argument of the “lazy homeschool parent” is completely inaccurate – I was going to say “a fable” – but fables actually teach a lesson.
Sad to say, but lazy homeschool parents do exist. I’ve read testimonies of homeschool students whose parents neglected their education, or parts of it, like science or math. I am a homeschool mom (since 1992–and 4 1/2 more years to go), and a homeschool advocate, but I think we need to open our eyes to the problems some homeschool families face… and then work to help solve those problems when we have opportunity. Here’s a letter from a homeschool girl who entered gov’t high school at age 17: http://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/2013/10/29/an-open-letter-to-my-former-highschool-teachers-by-sarah-henderson/
I think this girl was more than the product of lazy home school parents. It sounds like she was abused if she was practicing self-injury. Home schooling your child doesn’t automatically make you the perfect parent. One of the ways to help home school parents to educate their children is to advocate for school choice and to create schools where a home schooled student can enroll in just a science or math class, or whatever the parent is weak in. I’m so grateful my teens can attend a co-op at our parish where they can attend higher math, science, and history classes twice a week and home school the rest of the time.
Yes, she mentions needing to call child protective services in the letter. However, I think the homeschool community (generally) is so eager to encourage one another to keep on going that we put on blinders to families that fail to adequately prepare their children for adult life, whether because of abuse or neglect or extreme ideologies.
Love the list. Feel free to add “Because allowing your child to learn at their own pace could make other children feel badly or feel stupid.” I’m so sick of that one. I can’t help it if my kid is 2 “grade” levels ahead of the publicly schooled kids his age with even extra classes than are required. We only have school 4 days a week- how slow can we go!
Actually lazy home schooling parents do exist. I happen to be one of them. though by the grace of God I recently had a couple of sons graduate from a very academic college at the ages of 21 and 23. One with honors. I am a huge fan of charter schools which help by giving money to the home schooling parents. (Public Education at it’s almost best.) I use the funds to hire tutors in the subjects in grade levels I am not able to teach. I do think it is better if you have your own funds to use and you don’t have to have your children take those standardized tests, but our family happens to be one of those lower socio-economic families. I’m posting this to show that laziness isn’t a reason not to home school and neither is living in the ghetto with a measly income. It can still be done.
Andrea B says
Because children can’t learn from being on a REAL farm–they only learn about farms when sitting in a desk looking at pictures of cows and chickens on a worksheet.
Chris Hammond says
I am a “modern day first generation homeschool kid”…meaning I come from the 1970’s and 1980’s when homeschooling was really taboo. I have to say that those espousing the Constitution’s First Amendment as “separation of church and state” are truly showing their ignorance of the law, especially the ACLU. Anyone who believes otherwise is also following this ignorance and should instead apprise themselves of REAL history and REAL facts cited here: http://www.wallbuilders.com/libissuesarticles.asp?id=123 You may also notice the 13 citations of original legal commentary and case citations. It is SAD how ignorant our society has become. This man was WELL within his legal right to pray or ask if anyone wanted to join in. In fact, the First Amendment guarantees that.
Qadoshyah Fish says
This is great! I was homeschooled K-12. Best.Thing.Ever.
I am all for parents being allowed to homeschool, but being a teacher (Christian school) myself, I have seen kids come in from home schooling that were ridiculously behind due to lazy home schooling. Not every parent knows how to provide children with a proper education. I’m not for governments telling parents what they can and can’t do, but those parents should realize their incompetence in that area and find a better alternative for their children’s sake. If you can find a good Christian school, I personally think that is the best alternative.
I have never met a lazy homeschooler, but I sure that they exist – just like there are lazy teachers. However, I agree that Christian school is a must for parents who can’t homeschool.
Thanks for taking the time to comment! I sound like a great teacher!
Tina H. says
As if kids in institutional schools (public or private) are never “behind” in any area? I was a school teacher; I know better. There is no one “grade level” placement for any skill or bit of knowledge. In every classroom, there is a wide range of ability and skill – depending on each child’s God-given predispositions. To say that a homeschooled child who has to be enrolled in a school is “behind” is nothing short of bigotry when he would almost certainly fit within the RANGE of skill within a given classroom. But, in fact, the whole notion of “grade level” is immoral and dehumanizing – kids are not machines to be run through an assembly line of learning at the bureaucrats’ idea of what’s right.
Not sure if you can change #11 but i think you meant “Insanity” not “Stupidity.” At least, that’s what I believe the original Einstein quote was.
You are right and it is now changed!
Because boys are girls! My 9th grader came home from school saying boys were girls in the womb. Then sometime later in the pregnancy they “develop into their true form.” Really!!
I remember them teaching us that in 9th grade at public school.
Because going to school all day and coming home to do homework all night will make you smart (ummm…no, just tired!)
Yes! Schools have six to seven hours to teach kids, and then they have the audacity assign homeschool!!! I teach my kids (3&6) less than one hour, 4 days a week and they are already several grades ahead. So, why does it take the professionals so long?
Melissa @ Mama Miss says
Love it Janine! Especially “Because, nothing helps children grow into mature adults, like spending all their time with immature children their own age.” !!! Nail on the head!!
Melissa @ Mama Miss recently posted…eats: Chopped Steak Salad
Because we CANNOT let children decide what they want to learn and when- heaven forbid they want to specialize in a certain subject.
Because every child should be taught to the lowest level so that all children are just smart enough.
Stephanie W. says
I just want to say that it seems you are saying homeschooling is the best choice. but I do not agree that homeschooling is the best choice for every child. nor is Christian school. We need lights in the public school. I went to public school K-12. I have very loving parents, and we were not “poor”. My own children went to Christian school some and we recently put them in public school. I am a teacher, and I do not think that I should homeschool my kids. Eventually every kid will grow up, and homeschooled or not, will cross paths with the “thugs”, “goths” and “mean” public school graduates. I want my kids to be under our roof when they encounter tough times, when people are mean to them, so that, when things don’t go well, we can be right there with them to help them through, to help teach them how to trust God when life isn’t fair. I pray that they can be a light, and shine Christ’s love while they are in the public school. I also appreciate the comment that someone made about kids in public school whose parents don’t care. I have a lot of students, who don’t eat on the weekends, and if it weren’t for public school lunches, would probably be digging in dumpsters to eat. I also see a lot of kids whose parents could care less that they are learning, and if it were up to the parents, would never learn to read or write. I understand you were being sarcastic, but I feel there could have been a better way to make your point.
Yes, I definitely believe homeschooling is the best option. I realize not everyone can, but I think that everyone who can – should! Christian schools are better (I’ve attended a few), but there is still a lot of garbage that goes on, and in many ways other than chapel once a week, they aren’t a whole lot different.
And before we sent our babes off to convert the schools, we should make sure that they have a strong and grounded faith. I just don’t see how a kindergartner is mature enough to influence a hostile secular school. And study after study shows that 75% -85% of Christian children are abandoning their faith when they turn 18. So, who’s converting who? With Homeschooled kids 94% continue to follow Christ after graduation!
Thank you for taking the time to share you opinion!
Stephanie W. says
My daughter went to public school in Kindergarten. She shared the gospel with her Kindergarten teacher. She told her that if she trusts in Christ, that his blood would wash away all her sin. Most 18 year olds who walk away from the faith never had faith to begin with. They just went to church and lived it because it was their family’s faith and never truly their own. Homeschooling is a wonderful option for some. I know some wonderful homeschool families. However, I could homeschool (I am a teacher), and I am choosing not to. I truly believe that for us, and others, that public school is where my children should be. No, it is definetly not perfect. There are challenges, and there will be more. But we are teaching truth at home, we are involved in their school, and our God is there walking with us.
I agree that God is always walking with us, but I also believe that parents are commanded to raise their children in the Lord. And when nearly 85% of public school children are turning their backs on God, while 94% of homeschooled children keep their faith, who would you say is doing a better job raising their children in the Lord? I am not trying to condemn non-homeschooling parents – I’m trying to convert them to a better way!
Thank you for sharing your opinion. It sounds like you have a wonderful daughter who loves the Jesus. I just pray that she makes it into the 15% of public school children who keep their faith. I really mean that. God bless.
Ali H. says
Delicate suggestion, but you might want to get to know those “goths” (as a teacher) and yes, let your children get to know them, too. They’re some of the most deeply intelligent, absolutely gorgeous thinkers you’ll ever meet. Poets, artists, writers, costumers, seamstresses, musicians, historians, professors. They’re dark but not “evil”. Never assume that, that’s a godawful stereotype. Creative types tend to be both emotionally dark, and nocturnal. But they’re kind, gentle, thoughtful, loving people.
I find this to be spot-on and hilarious! Good job! I loved #19! Lmao
Kelly Crawford says
Because 8 hours a day is not long enough to memorize stuff and learn to fill in the blanks. Kids need another 2 or 3 hours in the evening. Plus, that’s more like real life anyway.
Tracey F. says
Funny…for us that homeschool. To those who don’t homeschool, forget attracting them with this. : I think the sarcasm needs to stop, to tell you the truth, especially if you are a follower of Christ. We aren’t called to do this.
Tracey F, if you read the Bible again with your eyes peeled for sarcasm and verbal mockery, you might be shocked at how much there is.
I highly recommend Douglas Wilson’s book, ‘A Serrated Edge’ on this topic.
Jesus Christ himself was extremely sharp and even sarcastic.
I agree with you Tracey. And while Jesus may have used sarcasm it was saved for religious people. #31 breaks my heart because we’re supposed to love the gangsters, pot-heads, goths, sluts, jocks, nerds and class-clowns. I know it was all a joke, and I joke and am sarcastic a lot. This just rubbed me the wrong way.
I never said that we shouldn’t love the gangsters, pot-heads, goth, sluts, jocks, nerds and class-clowns! When I was in public school I fit into more than 1 of those categories. And pointing out that gangsters exist in the schools is not the same as saying we shouldn’t love them! The point is, public school is not a great place to socialize kids! And homeschoolers are usually attacked for being socially awkward, as if the kids in public school aren’t!
Thank you for commenting.
Ali H. says
Are you not allowed to be a pot-head and a Christian at the same time? Is this is a new rule? Because honestly when I was involved with the ministry I found it gave me a depth of understanding and scope I would not have otherwise had.
#16 is my favorite! Gotta have that socialization! 🙂
#35 is my favorite!!!!! However, I think you forgot to add the most current supporter of socialist/communist indoctrination aka “education”.
cj foster says
I know this was to be sarcastic but both my children go to public school and both are in AIG classes at ages 9 and 8. They are kind, loving and compassionate and YES they do pray in school, NO ONE has ever said a word to them about it.
I have taught my children what the law says about prayer in school in our state and they understand it.
I wish I could home school but honestly with my sons autism he neeeds VERY rigid structure that I cannot provide and my daughter has ADHD which I have no patience for her at times. I am honest about it at least.
I love my children and I ensure what they are learning is relevant, both of their teachers know what I expect and what I expect out of them. It helps when one of my kids teacher is a pastors wife =)
Nurse Betty says
I see a whole bunch of chickification here. No one has a sense of humor any more and are always complaining about how “mean” other people’s clever and sarcastic remarks are. Suck it up, this was a hilarious post! Why should we be shy about mocking public schoolers–think how much abuse we have taken, and continue to endure as a community, from social workers, police,”educators”, school administrators, truant officers, and generally nosy, ignorant people! 2 million homeschoolers estimated in the USA, something like 1% of the population. That makes us feisty underdogs, so deal with it.
Very well said, Betty.
Tracey F. says
Wow…okay. Wait, that’s right! Jesus told us to mock public-schoolers…not love our enemies. I must have the wrong Bible. How awful. Unsubscribing from this blog. I want nothing to do with this. 🙁
I’m know you have a kind heart and I can appreciate that, but I strongly disagree with what you are saying. One, this post was not intended to mock public-schoolers, but to point out the illogical arguments against homeschooling and also to point out how harmful public school is.
Secondly, what are you talking about “love our enemies?” Did I ever call public schoolers my enemy? Did I ever say that we shouldn’t love them? In fact, if I feel public school is harmful to children, isn’t it more loving to point it out?! The reason America is no longer a Christian nation is because, in the name of “loving our enemies,” Christians stick their heads in the sand and refuse to call sin – sin!
Jesus called Pharisees vipers, whitewashed tombs, sons of the devil, hypocrites and more. He also drove people out of the temple with a bull whip! If only modern Christians were there to chastise him and remind him that, we are supposed to “love our enemies!” Obviously Jesus didn’t think sugarcoating the truth was the same thing as loving our enemies!
Tracey F. says
I appreciate all of that, BrittonL, but my response was to the outburst from Nurse Betty…she seemed to be calling these folks enemies to me when she said: “Why should we be shy about mocking public schoolers–think how much abuse we have taken, and continue to endure as a community, from social workers, police,”educators”, school administrators, truant officers, and generally nosy, ignorant people!”
Okay. Thank you for clarifying. I really do understand what you are saying and I appreciate you weighing in. It is good to get different perspectives. Thanks for continuing the discussion.
I personally experienced all three schooling options growing up. Public school, private Christian school and home school. They all have their pro’s and con’s. I have two daughters one is about to turn 3 and it is extremely important to me that I make the best decision in how to school her, currently I’m leaning towards home schooling. I really enjoyed the humor and truth in a lot of this post!
I got to try all three as well. My school days were mostly split between private and public school, but I did get a 6 month taste of homeschooling and loved it!
I hated public school. In my tender “elementary” years I learned that best friends were people who could choose to like you one day, and completely ignore and alienate you for the next two days. I accepted this as normal, and started making my own “friends”; setting up a rotation of friends for the days that my “best” friends decided they didn’t like me, and alternately ignoring those stand-in friends, on the days that my “best friends” remembered they were my friends again.
It wasn’t until 7th grade that I broke that pattern, apologizing to my now best friend of 17 years for my cruelty and rudeness. Even standing up for one friend who was mercilessly picked on for a medical condition. But despite all that growth, I still pull back from building friendships. Despite prayer, and resolve to forgive those from my past, I still worry new friends only tolerate me, and we eventually drift apart.
I also learned that success was purely based on keeping up with the herd. If I couldn’t learn the exact same thing at the exact same time as everyone else, I was behind and had to miss recess(where I got to play the “are you my friend today?” game). When I DID manage to keep up, I quickly learned that unless I wanted to miss MORE recess or lunch hour,(or, later in high school years, go home after school) I should keep my mouth shut when something didn’t make sense to me.
I struggled with home work. After school was over, the idea of sitting down to do MORE school… school projects and assignments are still a frequent nightmare of mine, even eleven years later.
I hear many terrible stories about the school system in place these days too. Grade six spelling is what my was learning in grade two. Math has almost turned political in the way that you are and aren’t allowed to build an equation to complete a math problem. At one point the rule was that everything had to be done out long, and the kids weren’t allowed to stack their numbers (I don’t remember what that type of equation is called). Lately I’ve even heard talk that they’re taking away the reward system. Kids are no longer to be recognized for doing well because that singles them out and they could be bullied. Say what?! Even the military is based on the reward system!
And yet… Despite all this… I still fear the idea of full-time homeschooling my own girl. For one, I’m already getting flak from the in-laws for only wanting one child (that’s a whole other wormy can of emotional turmoil, so let’s keep THAT one on the back burner). I KNOW what their opinion of homeschooling is. Despite knowing how messed up public schooling is these days, they’ve made their opinions known on the homeschooling topic many a time. Wanna talk socialization? Try being a mouse, and attempt to defend that a child can grow up well adjusted and even-tempered WITHOUT learning from a sibling, and then if you ever manage to get over THAT hurtle, tell them that you might want to home school them too. Yikes.
Outside opinions aside, My streak of procrastination may also get in the way of proper home-based education. Any time I think about home schooling, I worry I won’t be motivated enough, and it’ll just turn into me babysitting my kid. Bad.
I also hear it can be SUPER expensive?
So, I conclude my TLDR rant by saying, I hold absolutely no judgement over parents who home school, because public school sucks so terrifically (based on the entire system, and not on those few teachers and administrators who ROCK/ED).
The idea that sticks in my mind most often is sending her to public school, but to actively teach her in these years that I have her here at home with me. I’m hoping I can get her well on her way beforehand, and who knows? if I do well by the time she’s to go to kindergarten, maybe I’ll just keep her out and keep going.
It doesn’t have to be expensive at all. Most of my curriculum comes from hand-me-downs from our home school support group and a whole lot comes from the local library.
I’m posting this for those who argue that we shouldn’t use sarcasm and also for those who love it. I thought this was extremely well written.
Uncle Bob says
Remember Me/ I drive school bus/ keep home schooling!!!!!!!
Grandpa Bill says
Two things have stuck out as sad to me over the years, One is that most parents care more about money and the stuff they can buy than they do about how their children turn out. The other is even considering the feelings and pay checks of a teacher or administrator over the lives of a child. Both is nauseating. When determining by the facts we must deal with the average. That accommodates the god and the bad. If a teacher or administrator is truly good then they would want the best for your child. My public school teacher son has and Home-schools my grandchildren. I write this with love for all in education.
Grandpa Bill recently posted…You Homeschool? That’s Offensive!
10. Because, if students didn’t spend all their time sitting in classes, practicing sports and studying homework, their non-union parents might impact their lives in an unauthorized way. Not all homeschool parents are non-union. I belong to a union and have home educated my four children since day one. I now have a senior, sophomore, 8th grader, and a fifth grader. I know a minority of union members make us all look like thugs, but from what I have found, the majority in my union are conservatives. Though I wouldn’t say that about Wisconsin’s public school teachers if last years riots were of any indication.
I guess I should have been more specific. #10 was a reference to the NEA. Thanks for commenting!
As someone who enjoys sarcasm, I thought this post was great! Over the years, my six children & I have experienced public school in three different school districts, two different Christian schools and we have done homeschooling. The public schools were nightmares. Knowing what I know now, I would never put my child in a public school again. Christian schools or homeschooling are the only options in my book.
Harold Smith says
37. Because christian parents can never be trusted to teach their children to hate gays, lesbians, atheists, wiccans and anyone else who isn’t christian, the way the public schools do.
Lisa Nelson says
This is a fantastic post, but Whoa – what drama it started.
It’s funny what will “start” people, isn’t it?
I think this post is hilarious, but whatever you choose, you must be confident in your choices. If you truly believe in the choices that you are making, then there shoudn’t be a problem when people dig in (kwim?). When people make fun of homeschooling, I just let it roll off my back, because to me it shows me that they are insecure about the choice that they made for their children.
Just turn around and walk away.
Luckily this country is about choice.
Thanks so much for linking up this very funny post to the #homeschoollinkup. I sincerely appreciated reading it and that you took the time to link up. I do hope you come back this week.
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Nathaniel Stout says
Outlaw homeschooling because they might never know what it’s like to take a drug!
As a homeschooling highschool junior, it’s been great to see all of the support there is for homeschooling. I am so blessed to be homeschooled and be given a solid Bible-based foundation that will serve me for the rest of my life.
Alli Green says
Just so you know, Clinton WAS homeschooled and signed it into law to homeschool in Arkansas against Hillary’s wishes.
Alli Green, I think that you are mistaken. But if Clinton was home schooled, when? I know what elementaries he attended and what high school he graduated from, so what year was he home schooled?
Susie M says
1) Because over-involved parents have nothing better to do that question classroom management or curriculum choices. 2) Because homeschool kids are just a bunch of rebels who question authority! (what a concept) I love the one about raising hands! I guess I will have really failed my child if she gets into a corporate job and forgets to raise her hand to ask a question.
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This embarrassing list is (inadvertently, I’m sure) one of the best arguments *against * homeschooling I’ve ever seen. At least my children are learning the proper use of commas and punctuation in their “government” schools. Not to mention basic logic and reasoning skills.
Actually, my misuse of commas (inadvertently) is another great argument *against* public schooling, because well, that is where I received the majority of my education, when I wasn’t in private schools. And I was on the honor roll! So, I don’t mean to be rude, but it isn’t likely that your children will learn the proper use of commas and punctuation in the “government” schools – and certainly not logic and reasoning skills. They will probably end up just like me, misusing commas, and wishing they could have been homeschooled!
abcya games says
Thanks for writing such a great post. I really enjoyed reading that content.
#26. Because we need more people in the work force, so we need free government child care.
The best argument I ever heard came from a state legislator in my current state:
Home school moms are, by nature, too lazy to get a kid on the bus.
That was about 20 years ago, and we still laugh at that one.
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This post is so full of ignorance and logical fallacies that it should run for public office. If any list is more inclusive of all the terrible ill informed reasons why parents choose homeschooling, I’d like to see it.
Wendy Smith says
I am a teacher who never home schooled, and my daughter previously worked in a day care, and she plans to home school her children, and I am all for it. We teachers do the best we can with our 20 to 30 children, and in order to maintain structure, hands must be raised, everyone must sit quietly, and students learn to wait patiently for their turn because of limited adult help. We teachers spend many hours that we’re not paid for preparing and we care about the students and work overtime to maximize success. If a parent is lazy about their home-schooling and allows the internet, youtube and video games to raise their child, then I would say school might be a better choice. However, many of my students are suffering from neglect by parents who both spoil and ignore them. They have the latest in technology, but no parental attention or supervision. They do no homework, and sometimes stay up all night playing video games, but their time at school is at least 8 hours in a 24 hour period that they take a break from their technological addiction. They must interact, listen, write, think, run (at PE) and cooperate. I sound like I’m not for home-schooling. I’m just not for BAD home-schooling; LAZY home-schooling. If you home-school by spending time with your child, taking them to museums, letting them shop and cook dinners that coincide with the nation you are studying, take family trips, make them sit quietly and do their work, instruct them, let them take up an instrument and give them music lessons, do fun activities and sports, and use creativity, then you are FAR above what any school can offer. If you can keep your child away from the bad influences that will naturally be at any school, you may spare them from early sexual activity, heartache and emotional problems from immature relationships, peer-pressure induced drug addiction, insecurity from comparison, low self-esteem, and many other things. And lets be honest: MUCH time at school is wasted: the trip to and from, time getting ready, lining up, time between classes, time dealing with disruptive students while those who want to learn sit patiently and wait, study halls, class movies, class discussions, lunch periods, dressing out for PE. More important than all of that though, is not being the number one influence in your child’s life. You don’t get to choose their classmates or teachers and those people can sometimes wreak havoc in your child’s life that stays with them for years to come. I speak from experience.
M. Parris says
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. #fearisapowerfultool
Chris James says
Thanks for the article! There are instances where homeschooling has done wonders for some children. There are also instances where homeschooling has not done wonders for some children, whether it be socially or education – wise. However, the same could easily be said about public and private schooling
Homeschooling is not allowed in Africa. Everyone has to enroll their children for basic standard school in primary, secondary and tertiary institutions. I support your points.
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Child Advocate says
We’re in 2018, in an age of advance technology, vast web information and overwhelming statistics – do the research, most home-schooled children are malnourished, abused or neglected in some form or fashion … Leave the homeschooling to the neanderthals and do the right thing by saving these children whom parents under the false pretext and excuses for homeschooling only goal is to silence the children’s voices and shield themselves from the scrutiny of society. It should be OUTLAW and only allowed if there is substantial medical proof and legal documentation that it serves in the child’s best interest.
Mister Fleas says
“We’re in 2018, in an age of advance technology, vast web information and overwhelming statistics – do the research, most home-schooled children are malnourished, abused or neglected in some form or fashion … ”
You are the one making an assertion, you should be the one to provide the proof.
I am writing a English assignment about how homeschooling is better than public schooling, (me being a homeschooler, lol), and I clicked on this post and at first I couldn’t tell if you were actually believing these things or if you were joking, but at around reason number ten I realized that you were joking. This was really funny, thanks! Khloe.
lol! Yes, totally joking! Glad you liked it! Good luck with your assignment! I’d love to read it when you are done!
Because kids need to learn the skill of shoveling a plate (or lunch box) of food into their mouths and down their throat in a 10 minute or less time span. Meals are not supposed to be social interaction time.
True story. When my daughter was in public school, they had 20 minutes for lunch from the time they were dismissed to leave the class until they had to be out of the cafeteria. Kids who packed lunches had almost 15 minutes to eat since they could skip the line and go straigt to a table. Kids buying lunch had as few as 6 minutes if they were unfortunate enough to be at the back of the line. If they talked, even quietly to a kid at their table, they were told “lunch time is for eating, save your socializing fire recess”. This was for 3rd graders!
That is so unfortunate. Learning proper eating habits is such an important part of education!
Selfish parents homeschool their children. Most of these fundamentalist nut jobs want to mold their children into a lifestyle that cripples them from thinking for themselves or having the ability to interact with the larger world. Its so sad that you would deny your children a proper education and development so that they will fit into your world which is essentially a crutch for ignorant & weak minded people. The two of you should have your children taken away from you, and jail time imposed. Disgusting, don’t have children if you are going to abuse them in this way for your own warped religious beliefs. And also, here in the real world we don’t compare what George Washington did to modern day society unless you have rocks for brains. Washington also had slaves, so should your children own black people as well?
Your response is exactly why we homeschool. Thank you for confirming what we already know.
this is my reality says
You’re right John. I was homeschooled and my “Christian” high school education (if you’d even call it that) wasn’t accredited, which has obtaining higher education next to impossible. I have a GED and prior community college credits, but it’s not enough to apply to an actual university. I have to complete four English classes, four math classes, three language classes, and at least one art class at my local community college to make up for high school “credits” on university applications. Even then, I don’t know if any university will accept me after completing my transfer associate degree and making up for my general education requirements. I’m trying my best, but I’m terrified for my future. I want to get my Bachelor’s degree and make the most of my life. I wish that my parents didn’t do this to me.
The sole purpose of homeschooling is to impose parents’ sociopolitical doctrine on to their children and prevent them from exploring their opportunities in life, so they’re forced to rely on their families and religious communities for any form of support. I know that most homeschool parents have good intentions and want to protect their children from the supposed evils of the “real world”. However, that mindset rarely benefits their children in the long run.
Monkey Type says
You’re right John. I was homeschooled and my “Christian” high school education (if you’d even call it that) wasn’t accredited, which has obtaining higher education next to impossible. You are the one making an assertion, you should be the one to provide the proof.