I already posted, The Dumbest Argument Against Homeschooling…Ever! so I’m calling this the Worst Excuse Christians make for Not Homeschooling!
Me: Bob, I homeschool because God calls us to raise our children in the Lord. How can I do that if they are at a secular school all day?
Bob: Well, the Bible also says to let our light shine. My child might be the only “Jesus” some kids ever see.
Me: Bob, your 5 year-old can barely tie his own shoes! Don’t you think he should grow into some spiritual armor before you send him into enemy territory?
Bob: But the Bible says, “Be in the world, but not of the world.”
Me: That’s exactly my point! The world sends their children to an institution where God’s very name is forbidden. Although we live in this world, we must not be “of” it – we must raise our children in the Lord! And what greater testimony could there be to the secular world than every Christian family refusing to send their children to Godless schools?
Bob: Well, I turned out alright.
Me: Well that’s debatable. And with 88% of Christian children in public schools leaving the church after graduation, you’re not only playing with fire – you’re forcing your children to play with fire, possibly hell fire! If you want to sacrifice your children on the altar of government schooling, fine. But, let’s not pretend that it’s for Christ’s sake!
I am not trying to attack anyone, just hoping to inspire Christian parents to reclaim their children for the Lord. The enemy is winning the culture war because Christian parents are so willing to hand their children over. All parents imagine that their children will be the light in secular schools, but according to the Southern Baptist Council on Family Life, 88% are dead wrong! I’d love to think that my children would be the exception, but I can’t take that risk. Especially, when 94% of homeschooled teens keep their faith! For Christian parents, homeschooling should be a no-brainer! Love to hear your thoughts.
I couldn’t agree more! As a single parent who recently retired, I began homeschooling with some trepidation. But my daughter, who is 15, made the best argument for it – she did not like the environment of our high school. In her class of 100, five girls were pregnant, one for the second time! There was a gang of bullies and a lot of drug and alcohol abuse. How can a teen really make a difference in a place like that? And how long before peer pressure begins to make itself felt?
DebB,
Yeah, isn’t it crazy. Adults always told me my high school years were going to be the best years of my life. Thank God they were wrong!
You have a point. I do believe that it’s true that young Christians can be a light to Christ in an otherwise dismally dark place (public school). I also know it’s near impossible for a 5 year old child to be emotionally and spiritually prepared to handle the spiritual warfare and peer pressure that they will experience in public schools. High school was bad when I was there, much worse then most parents realize and the public school system is getting worse through time… not better. Homeschooling and Christian private schools are looking like the only options we have left and private school is expensive. What home schooling program do you use?
Hi Jenny,
Thank you for responding. We use Blue Manor Ebooks, and then some supplemental material online. We have 4 kids, but our oldest is only 6, so we are just getting started homeschooling.
I always enjoy coming here. I would love to see what the world would look like if all Christians homeschooled. I dont think the salt and light instruction was meant for littles, I could be wrong, I have a hard enough time myself. Tara.
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You are so right and more people need to say this, because I think that Christians are living in la la land if we think things are going to get better on their own in our society. We must PRAY and take responsibilty for the greatest blessings that God has given us, namely our children. I’m in California so you can imagine what the kids in public schools have to go through and at every turn our legislators are making it a more evil environment for school children (most of which parents don’t even know, ex. most parents are oblivious to the new law that says if a boy thinks he is a girl, he can use the girls bathroom, take a shower in the girls locker room etc). Unfortunatly, those laws start off in one state and like an infection will spread to other states.
Do you have a source for the statement that 94% of homeschoolers keep their faith?
Yes! Here it is: Brian D. Ray, Ph D., Homeschoolers Grown Up, 2004.
I can’t find the state on 94% of homeschoolers keeping their faith in that report you cited. I see that 93% of those surveyed say they attend religious services once a month or more, but I’m guessing most people wouldn’t say there is an equivalency there. Can you point out specifically where that 94% stat came from? Thanks.
I completely disagree with everything being said. The world is a very dark place and if parents constantly shelter their kids for their own “benefit.” That is an absolutely ridiculous arguement. I’m currently a senior in highschool, in a very dark city. We have a very bad drug problem, and pregnancy problem at our school, but instead of hiding away and being selfish with my faith. I share it. A few friends and I started a bible study, and it has grown exponentially. People are rely beginning to change their lives, and Jesus has done so much. God has used my school to strengthen me, and grow me more than ever, while My Christian friends that were homeschooled are dealing with tons of problems now. I think it’s bad to shelter your children like that. They need to grow, and face the challenges of this world with Christ, instead of hiding from it.
Isaac, school is not the world.
Actually, I would say that schooled children are the ones being locked away from society. But I do think that it is great that you are able to impact your school for Christ. Unfortunately, I came from public school, watched most of my friends and family turn their back on their faith, and am not willing to risk my own kids. It is a parent’s job to protect children until they are ready, and no five year old is ready to face the dangers of government schools. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Isaac, for posting this! Not every Christian parent can nor should be homeschooling. This article gives me such anxiety because I am not homeschooling, there’s no grace here, just condemnation. Praise God for those like you willing to go into battle and be a light each day. Who is he to judge?
Good for you Isaac. I would say your and your friends were the exception and not the rule. Your post is almost six years old now – I wonder if you are still walking in the faith???
I am a homeschool mom. I have been for 13 years. I have 5 kids.
I want to point out that many homeschool kids also leave the faith. Home schooling is not a magic pill to keep kids in the faith or really for anything. I love home schooling so much. But I have seen lots of kids walk out of the home schooling life and leave the faith.
Again remember I am a home schooling mom. I am very much in support of home schooling. We have to remember much of the research is just not fair. I live in Illinois. There are no reporting standards for home schoolers at all. We don’t even have to tell the schools, show anyone what we teach, no testing. So there is no scientific way to compare the home school kids to the public/private school kids because there is simply no data.
When we choose to home school we do it for many reasons. Most do it for religious reasons. I am a Christian. But we choose to home school because it fit our family schedule and life style more. Then we reconsidered the benefits of it from a Christian preservative.
Just please keep in mind that there is no magic method that will guarantee your kids grow up and follow Jesus. You need to be faithful to what God called you too and teach it to your children. But you being faithful doesn’t 100% guarantee that your kids will follow Jesus.
Be encouraged and do right, but remember ………………..
Heidi, I totally agree that there are no guarantees when it comes to raising children, but that doesn’t mean that all choices are equal.
You read the statistic incorrectly. 88% relates to ALL students, home-educated included.
Yes, but including them actually raises the percentage because roughly 94% of the Christian homeschooled children keep their faith.
Please, can you site that source of 94% keep their faith?
My homeschooled education informs me that this is a straw-man argument in that you’re displaying a caricature of an opponent that is easy to defeat, basically creating a fool and answering him in his folly. In the actual situations that I’ve encountered, those who use the argument that their children are there to be salt and light, are either being honest and following what they believe is God’s call for their family and therefore they as parents participate in local community service more frequently than does the general population, vote and attend public meetings more frequently than the general population” OR they’re using this excuse to avoid vulnerability about the real reason (such as feelings of inadequacy, learning disorders that need therapy or specialized attention, lifestyle choices, job instability) and with such contentious language who can blame them?
Many of my homeschooled friends have walked away from God, and many of my public schooled friends are still strong in their faith. I attribute general parental involvement as a more significant factor, although I still believe that homeshooling is a great way to facilitate that involvement.
And to answer you question “And what greater testimony could there be to the secular world than every Christian family refusing to send their children to Godless schools?” A greater testimony would be christians serving the poor, welcoming single mothers until there weren’t any single parents on welfare, participating in the community and being generous until homeschooling is a feasible option for everyone. It’s possible for the Bobs of the world to misinterpret homeschooling as rejection of society, but if families would engage culture while homeschooling, not only would the movement be a light, but that light might actually reach where it’s needed the most.
I am a graduated homeschool student. My parents, especially my mom, used these arguments with us weekly to support her choice. Under the pretense of trying to do what is right, they didn’t realize that they were taking part in a much bigger movement that was in fact, very cultural. Many parents I believe were/are reacting to their own less than holy teenage years and as a result have made projects out of people. Also, many people entering the home-school movement today are being rather blind sided. If they have not done the work to examine their views and acknowledge the damage that has been done in the last generation, they are in danger of trusting their method above others (hypocrisy and pride) and making the same mistake. Best of luck, there are countless stories from former homeschoolers all over the web.
I was homeschooled by my Christian mother with religiously based curriculum. Darwin and evolution were considered dirty words in our house and we weren’t allowed to speak them. I only left the house to go to church, Awana and meetings of a very Christian 4-H club, where the other kids were being raised the same as me, so my social development growing up was extremely limited and censored. I was taught that other cultures and all non-Christians were inherently bad and wrong. I have also suffered from mental health issues since a young age, but rather than getting the treatment I needed I was taught that only prayer would deliver me, which slowly descended into a downward spiral of self-blame leading to suicidal depression.
Only when I was old enough to go to the library by myself did I get any exposure to secular literature, and only exposure via the internet to people of other beliefs made me realize how suffocatingly narrow my worldview was. Even then it took me another eight years to finally relinquish religion altogether. My mental health issues have improved dramatically since then, but it’s been a long and bumpy road to any kind of recovery.
In other words, Christian homeschooling ruined my life and I’m only just now beginning to pick up the pieces. Brainwashing is morally wrong no matter what you want to call it.
Eleanor, I am so sorry that you feel homeschooling ruined your life. As far as Evolution goes, it is not a dirty word, just a silly idea. And your sheltered childhood actually seems quite well-rounded. I spent my childhood tied to a desk.
You seem to think that you really missed out on something, but school is a dull and boring place, and offers a terrible education. If we could trade childhoods, I’d gladly do it. I experienced homeschooling only for half a year, after being virtually expelled. But in the short time I learned a lot and my rebellion started to subside. Unfortunately, I went back to school the next year, got in with the wrong crowd and, if it wasn’t for a military boarding school, I don’t know where I’d be.
As far as your post-homeschooling suffering goes, I think I have seen much worse from members of my own family, and they all attended public school.
Thankfully, there is one thing that we can agree on, brainwashing is morally wrong, and that is why I keep my kids out of government schools.
I rest my case.
I am shocked by the assumption that homeschooling is right for every Christian family. In reality, it only makes sense to white middle-class families in the States, Canada, and Western Europe. Especially when one considers the fact that the majority of Christians in the world live in impoverished, developing countries where it is necessary that both parents (if both are still around) work to feed their family. In many of these countries, school is a lifesaver- it provides a safe place for children while their parents work, and they receive an education which can enable them to rise above poverty and become leaders in their country (and, in many developing countries it is not illegal to teach the Bible and Christian values in public schools!). I was homeschooled and it was a positive experience for me (and I’m still a believer), but I’ve done a lot of travelling and homeschooling would be impossible for any of the Christian families I know in developing countries. There are other valid routes to education. School outside the home is absolutely not a death sentence, or even a death-to-faith sentence. I’m a little wary of those statistics, especially considering the source. I have several friends who have left the church they were raised in for the Episcopal Church or more liberal Evangelical churches, which are most definitely churches that preach the Gospel. I wonder if they were counted in those stats? Or if they just counted the kids who stayed within the conservative Evangelical movement.
I am sorry to shock you, but yes raising children in the Lord is right for every Christian family. Parents can’t do that very well when their kids waste most of their time in school. In high school, between school, after school activities, homework, sports and friends, I hardly had 5 minutes a day to share with my parents. That wasn’t enough time to have much of an impact.
The survey of children leaving the Church was taken from a Southern Baptist Churches. So it does not reflect all Christians, that said, I went to public school, I know how many of us turned our backs on our faith and the vast majority didn’t return. Anyone who has attended school knows it is not conducive to raising Godly children.
Yes, some parents can’t homeschool, but I’m not going to lie to them and tell them schools won’t stack the odds against them.
And school is never a lifesaver. It was never meant to educate children, but to house them and prepare them for menial industrial work. You should read “Revealing School.”
At any rate, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. If your
“I am sorry to shock you, but yes raising children in the Lord is right for every Christian family. Parents can’t do that very well when their kids waste most of their time in school.”
Here are the things I’ve picked up on reading your blog and these comments:
1. You had a very bad experience in public school.
2. Some commenters have had very bad experiences in home school.
3. Some commenters have left their faith after being homeschooled.
4. Some of your friends have left their faith after being public schooled.
5. You believe the only right way to raise your children in the Lord is to home school.
The Barna Group did some research on this (https://www.barna.org/barna-update/culture/681-public-schools-christians-are-part-of-the-solution#.VJRDUCcPA). They cite that one of the best ways for Christians to impact the public school system is to get involved. Be the change. Participate as classroom aides and on the PTA. Support teachers financially and emotionally.
To tell parents that THE ONLY Christian option is homeschooling comes from a place of extreme privilege. You didn’t really answer Brenn’s comment. I think it is unfair to insinuate (which is what you are doing) that “real Christians” homeschool and those that don’t are throwing their children into the pits of Hell.
http://www.christianpost.com/news/david-bartons-claim-that-50-of-christian-kids-at-christian-colleges-renounce-faith-refuted-108809/
This is a good article to look at. Sometimes statistics are misleading. While 60% may question the church of their youth, that doesn’t mean they lose their faith or even won’t return. A faith without questioning is a static faith, and blindly and robotically following God is not the relationship He longs for.
Should there be changes to our education system? Absolutely. No one is claiming it is perfect. But families are different. Not all families have the resources, the education, or the giftedness to school a child from childhood to adolescence. Some children have learning disabilities that need more support than homeschooling allow. Some children live in abusive homes (even Christian ones) in which public schools may allow them some reprieve. (Read “A Child Called It”…a good example of a young boy who was blessed by his public school experience.)
Let’s not generalize. It’s okay to advocate for homeschooling, but it’s not okay to act as if homeschooling is the answer to living a faithful, Godly life.
Respect the experiences of others. Just as their experience doesn’t translate for you, your experience may not translate to theirs.
Kaitlin, I appreciate where you are coming from and I truly sympathize with families that cannot afford to homeschool, like single mothers. I agree that some statistics are misleading. For instance, 88% only came from the Southern Baptist Church, other studies found a number closer to between 70-75%.
As far as schools being able to give disabled children more attention, that is simply not true. A loving mother working one-to-one is always the best option. And whether Christian parents get involved or not, also has almost no effect. They cannot share their faith in school. In fact, I have family members and close friends who are teachers, and they will be the first to tell you that the schools are hostile to Christian ideals, and they are unable to share their faith. Finally, yes, children from abusive homes will probably be better off in school. So, if you have an abusive home, by all means send your children to school.
That said, school is not a valid option for 99% of Americans. I spent years researching the history and methods of school and wrote the book “Revealing School.” School was never intended to do students or families any good; it was always about conditioning state resources, by separating children from their faith and families.
http://bluemanoreducation.com/why%20homeschool/
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
You, sir, generalize far too much. To say that ‘all” schools are hostile to the Christian ideals shows how much you really don’t have a clue. There are Christian teachers, administrators and staff. I as a mother am very open about where I stand on issues. I am able to go down to our public school and pray for people and share scripture with them. My children have discussions in school about the Bible and other inclusive topics. They are allowed to write on their papers the answer that a question is asking and if it doesn’t line up with their belief they can state, something to the affect of “however, the Bible says”, or ” I believe instead”. Our teachers accept these things.
My children were homeschooled up until 2-1/2 years ago. They got a good foundation. And then our situation changed and God directed us to put our kids in school. We talk extensively about what they are learning, how it lines up with the Bible and how it does not. They know they are not getting the whole picture in some areas. But, they may go to college someday. What then? Shocker. They will get a job in the “real world” some day. Then what? Shocker. My kids have had an opportunity to homeschool and be put in a public situation where they’ve had to practice their faith as well, myself included. I’ve had to pray them through many situations and be able to counsel them in how to stand in faith. Life is not “ideal”. Nobody can have it “perfect”. I can’t say my kids will graduate from public school, but for now this is our situation and as much as I would love to have them home again and protect their minds from the onset of the false teachings and instructions, this has proven to be a time of great growth.
There is no need to respond as I don’t need your one sided inconsiderate and assuming attitude as if you are God. We hear from God for our own family and are able to know when He is directing us. It’s one thing to blog an idea and present your opinions or experience of what works for your situation, but be aware, we are not cookie cutter Christians and your experience and situation is not like everyone else’s. Don’t cut someone down because their life is not like yours.
I am a homeschool graduate, and I completely disagree with this argument. “Spiritual armor” is all well and good, but at some point the child will have to go out into the world and experience life for themselves. They will be completely unprepared. Why? Because they’ve never had opportunity to defend their faith. They’ve never encountered anyone who doesn’t fit neatly into their worldview bubble. Suddenly, there are real live people who don’t believe in God, the Bible, heaven, etc. and all the things they learned in theory (apologetics) will be useless. Look at it this way: a young man who wanted to be a knight in Medieval times would train in the methods of combat tirelessly before becoming a knight. Before they even attained this honor, they would go into battles as squires. How disastrous would it be if all they did was learn how to put on the armor? Just theories about swordplay? Then, once they are knighted, they are expected to fight for their lord. But they’ve never learned how. All their armor falls away and the theories they’ve memorized are useless when the enemy charges. It is the same way with spiritual training. Teach your children to defend their faith and witness to others. This is vitally important. But if they’ve been kept at home where it is “safe” and never are called upon to defend what they believe, it is all for naught. If a child doubts their faith, better to have them do this at home where their parents can encourage them and help them than on their own. Jesus never called us to be “safe.”
You won’t be able to control your children forever.
My experience was similar to Eleanor’s. My parents homeschooled me all the way through 8th grade with the Bob Jones University curriculum and sheltered me heavily from outside influences. I never rebelled while I was at home, but once I got to college my eyes were opened and today I am a passionate atheist. I wouldn’t change the past because it’s brought me to where I am today, but homeschooling without a doubt hobbled my social development and it’s taken a lot of work to make up that lost ground.
I also know too many others like me to believe that 94% statistic – homeschooling is by no means a magic bullet to ensure your children become perfect little Christians. By sending your children to an actual school you could at least give them a chance at normal socialization while continuing your indoctrination efforts at home.
If you do choose homeschooling, I encourage you to manage your expectations of the result. Your children are their own human beings who will make their own choices in life, which may very well differ from yours. I will admit that I hope they do. It’s very difficult to control information in the internet age. 🙂
Do you really think that school is “normal socialization?” It is common, but far from normal. Locking children in a room, forbidding them to socialize until recess, is your idea of a great social environment for kids?
And you think home education is indoctrination, but government schooling isn’t? Really? Look, I have been down the road of school, and know where it leads. And as you admitted, your parents put you in school for high school, and between that and college you lost your way. That is exactly what I am trying to avoid. I want my kids to have a real education and I want them to experience real socialization. Not the superficial kind that is common among the incarcerated.
I understand that there are no magic bullets with kids, but that doesn’t mean I am just going to throw the towel, and give them up to school, a system that is known for its failures. But thank you for sharing your experience.
I was homeschooled by Christian parents from preschool through high school and I still turned out to be a godless queer, so you never can tell.
Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry homeschooling failed you. Obviously we can’t win them all, but I’m thinking my odds are still much better at home.
I guess if your goal is for children to “win” by becoming “happy adults” (see “About” section of the website) then one would need to ask Sofia whether she is “happy” before concluding that “homeschooling failed” her. I stand on Christ, the Solid Rock. All other ground (parenting or teaching techniques, our best efforts, happiness, kids who look good in public…) is sinking sand.
If you are a Christian, then you understand that true and lasting happiness is found in Christ alone. Sofia admits that she has turned her back on God. You could say her experience and choices have led her to stand on “sinking sand,” and for that I am sorry for her. Thank you helping me clarify my statement.
My family often struggled with money growing up, so both my parents had to work full-time to make ends meet and my sister and I both received our education through the public school system. My parents have always been strong in their faith, and my sister and I never wavered in our own faith growing up largely due to their examples at home, despite being exposed to the “evils” of public school. Parents can have such a major influence even if they don’t homeschool, provided they guide their children in a loving and understanding manner.
Homeschooling is a privilege that even nuclear families can’t often afford if they want to keep food on the table, and your insinuation that those who send their children to public school are teaching them to play with hellfire is grossly unfair to those who aren’t as privileged as yourself.
I understand the plight of families that cannot afford to homeschool. My wife was raised by a single mother, and so was I for a time. That said, I don’t understand your point about it being “unfair.” Whether school is or isn’t good for Christian children is irrelevant to whether or not parents can afford otherwise. Are you saying that I should lie about school for the sake of low income parents? And that would be fair to them? Of four children raised in a Christian home, at this point, I am the only one still walking in my faith, but even I strayed during my school days. I can’t just pretend school is an okay option to make people feel better about bad choices, or bad circumstances.
To the Christians who can’t afford to homeschool, I certainly want them to know what they are up against, so that they remain extra vigilant, and so that if they can ever afford to homeschool, they will.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. If you are a family who can’t afford to homeschool, maybe you could find a homeschooling friend, relative or grandparent willing to help you. Either way, I wish you the best and hope that your children beat the odds.
For the record, God’s name is NOT forbidden in public schools. TEACHERS cannot impose religion in a classroom, but there are NO laws about what kids can and cannot say or do. And even then, there are still plenty of ways for teachers to share their faith in their classroom within the bounds of the law. (I’m saying this as a Christian with a teaching degree who plans to teach in a public school setting)
Also, public school and homeschool aren’t the only two options of course. There’s also private Christian school….
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Brittany, teachers are very aware that even mentioning God’s name can have serious consequences, possibly even cost them their jobs. But either way, like you said they certainly can’t share their faith or teach on Christianity. And there may not be laws on the books about what students can and cannot say about God, but their are policies. Many students have been disciplined for speaking out about their faith, praying before team events or offering pro-God valedictorian speeches, etc. Our schools are of course very anti-God.
But yes, there are private Christian schools to those who can afford them. And as a future teacher, I wish you the best. I hope that in some way you can beat the system and impact your students for Christ.
It looks as though you were being targeted by people directed here from another website. It does happen. You handled the attacks well.
“Salt and light” turns a detailed section of Matthew into a shallow slogan ( I hate the Bible being treated in that way) and it is a hypocritical argument, because many parents who say this are sending the children to school to do what *they* could do as teachers, helpers etc. If I want to run a Bible club, I should go and do it — not send my kid to do it for me and then sanctimoniously use that as a badge of Christian honour.
I spent 12 years as a school teacher. So many people told me, “I don’t know how you do it, I couldn’t …” It was only then that I realised how empty was the “salt and light” cliche.
PS The schools in poorer parts of the world are way different — often with strong Christian foundations, and occupying less of the day — so the whole vibe is very much about enhancing the child’s life, not taking over from the home.
Straight talking right to the point, Britton! I can’t imagine sending my child to school at age 5. “Bye honey, have a good day! Make wise, biblical choices!”
Thanks for sharing. Dead. On.
Wow. You are spot on. God gives us the primary responsibility to educate our children. If we are not going to do that, we had better be absolutely sure we hand the reigns over to someone who will do it in a way that honors God and brings our children closer to him. God doesn’t give us an “out”. We have been entrusted with everything He has given us. We will be held responsible for what we did with everything He gave us, and that especially includes our children. Thank you for speaking the truth unashamedly, for not sugar coating the truth and not backing out of a fight when it starts getting hard. You’re right. The world can’t see it and most Christian parents refuse to see it. That’s not on you. You’re a vigilant watchman on the wall. You can only do what God has prepared and called you to do. And it’s truly astounding. God bless you and your family.