And the Lord commanded the Hebrews, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
But, there was one father named Jesse, who had a better idea. Wanting the best education for his youngest son, he sent David down the road to a popular and modern Philistine school. Among the Philistines David attended school for 13 long years. Then one day a Philistine army came to conquer Israel, and all the Hebrew men prepared for battle.
Jesse: Quickly son, prepare for battle! We must fight the Philistines!
David: The Philistines? What’s wrong with the Philistines?
Jesse: They sacrifice their babies as burnt offerings!
David: Yeah sure, but just the unwanted ones.
Jesse: Their women are harlots!
David: Hey now, I fooled around with several Philistine girls and they seemed alright to me.
Jesse: They hate the Almighty God!
David: Who’s God?
Jesse: The only God! The one true God of Israel!
David: Oh, we aren’t allowed to talk about Him at school. And besides…
Suddenly, a giant came to the middle of the battle field and issued a challenge, “I defy the ranks of Israel this day; give me a man that we may fight together.”
Jesse: That man curses God and threatens Israel. He must be killed!
David: Killed?! That’s Big Guy Golia. He’s my best friend, Dad! We sit together every day in Antisemitism 101. What is your problem, anyway? If the Philistines are so bad, why did you send me to their school?
With that David abandoned his father and his father’s God, and joined the people who had raised him. In the evening, David and his best friend Goliath led the charge and defeated the Israelites.
Thankfully, this is not the real story of David and Goliath. No God-fearing Israelite would allow an enemy of God to educate his children. This is actually a parable of American families and government schools. If you are a Christian and not homeschooling, please reconsider before it is too late.
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