You are constantly going. Wipe a nose, clean a dish, make a call, cook a fish, wipe the floor, make a bed, do some more, get ahead; you are always in a hurry.
When you think you can’t go on, you throw back some black elixir; mocha, frappe, Americano. What are you striving for?
Is your reputation on the line? Are you trying to get a degree? Are you going for a promotion? Do you want your children to be successful? Is fame your goal?
These things aren’t bad, but all are NOT worth killing yourself for. And while you’re dying inside to get ahead, you’re missing out on more important things.
Remember, there are some people who have everything they’ve ever wanted, yet somehow, it isn’t enough.
So you believe the saying, “hard work never killed anyone” do you? Well it simply isn’t true. I’ve pulled plenty of all-nighters. I know what happens when you do too much.
You slowly turn into something scary.

Oh, hi mom!… y-y-you look a little tired today heh.
The littlest things will set you off. Your husband blows his nose too LOUD! The dog licks YOUR FEET! Then, YOUR. KID. GIGGLES! You make little mistakes, and they turn into big mistakes.
Chaos ensues.
Why, why are you doing this to yourself?
So you want to meet your goals? Your definition of success is just out of reach and if only you could do more, faster…
“Bring it on!”, you say.
Soon your goals become a blur in the midst of all the commitments you’ve made. You feel dazed and confused like someone just jumped you in a back alley. What happened to that person you once were? How can you get back to feeling normal again?
Just say no!
Do you have your goals written down? Do you have your priorities lined out? Now is the time.
What is most important to you? List those in order; 3 Big goals and what it is going to take to meet them, write those next.
If someone asks you to do something, look at your goals and priorities. Does it line up and do you have the time and energy to do it? No? Then just say no!
Reserve your yeses for things that really line up. Things that you’ve been missing out on in the midst of Chaos. The simple pleasures in life that you’ve been taking for granted.
The hugs, kisses, meaningful conversation. The relationships. The things that really make life worth living.
To the moms who do too much: Sometimes less is more.
Couldn’t agree more with this one! And I love that last pic!
It’s a 7-year-old pic too! Thank you!
Such a great reminder as we enter the new year with resolutions. The list should be less … less with more important priorities right at the top. Thanks for the wonderful reminder 🙂
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I have always felt this way but have found myself turning into this woman after marriage. Why? My husband. He’s got huge expectations he keeps laying on me and I have to go go go to meet even half of them. It’s wearing me out and I am trying to lovingly talk to him about priorities and such but he just doesn’t get it. I have always been a “don’t sweat the small stuff” person and he is a “if we don’t sweat the small stuff, who will?? Huh? Huh?” kind of guy. Sigh. We’re working on it, but as a Christian woman I am finding myself torn between God’s directive to “not worry about tomorrow” and “submit to your husband.” It’s a constant struggle because I can rarely do both. Anyway I am sharing this because before marriage I always thought the frazzled people did it to themselves and just needed to chill. Now I am realizing it can be more complicated than that.
Pamela, perhaps you could give him the list of duties he expects from you for one day. And see if he can achieve it all. Pushing yourself to do more than you have time/energy for, will only cause you to resent him down the track. Why is he not listening to you? Feel good for what you are achieving and do not feel guilty if you cannot live up to his expectations. If you need help, ask for help. May be you could hire a cleaner once a fortnight to help out or ask a family member to help out once a week? You do not have to be a superwoman. It’s your life too. Good luck!
Great suggestions Melanie!
i totally unferstand this dilema Pamelaxx
Hi Pamela,
I totally understand what you mean. Although I don’t know your exact situation. He probably means well and is just used to things a certain way. I think if you stay the course and just try your best that is all that you can do. Keep in mind that you are really doing the work for God.
When I was first married, I felt a little bit like this. I also didn’t believe in making a schedule or having a daily planner. When I stepped back and looked at my husband’s requests not as demands or as commands, but instead as things that I could improve on, it changed a lot of things. Now I have 4 kids and I get 3 times more done. My husband also helps out more now that he knows how much work kids are 🙂
Your husband loves you. Trust in his leadership. Now, if he is abusive that is another story.
In Scripture, God doesn’t mean we shouldn’t clean our house or let our appearances go, He means that in the end, we will be taken care of if we trust in Him. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:33-34
Hi again Pamela, I also recommend reading Sacred Marriage and Absolutely Organized by Debbie Lillard. Both of those might help with your marriage and managing everyday life. Thanks so much for sharing your heart. God Bless!
So easy to write. When there are so many jobs that must be done and not enough time to do them, these articles leave a little to be desired. I have to go to work to pay for food etc, I have to clean, do the laundry and cook food for my family etc. I have to fall into bed totally exhausted so I can start it all over again the next day. Just say no- who pays the bills, cooks and cleans?
Hi Julie,
I’m sorry this discouraged you. Life is tough, no doubt. There are seasons when you are not going to get much rest or be able to say no. I didn’t mean this to be about family and home. I meant this to encourage you too keep your eyes on the important things in life, simplify, and keep your goals in mind.
For me, this means that sometimes I have to say no to friends, no to more stuff, no to cable, no to helping at the church, no to that big piece of chocolate cake I want, no to any extra curricular activities the kids want to do. Paying the bills, laundry, cooking, cleaning, those things are different, those are your priorities.
I hope that you get some relief this year and things get easier very soon.
Great Post Janine! I think that too many times we moms put all this extra stuff on ourselves. Sometimes, less is more. Sometimes, we need to think about what our best yes is. And sometimes, that means saying no to things we want to do, or things that are expected of us, that maybe someone else can do. I have learned that when I say yes to something, I am saying no to something else. So, saying no is becoming more and more important to me!
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