It started with a scream from my four-year-old about my two-year-old. “Emma ate bird poop!” Audrey yelled.
Oh no! Ever since my husband bought chickens I have been fighting bird poop on shoes, bird poop on hands, and now this! I raced outside. “Emma, gross! You do not eat bird poop!” I scolded. Emma looked a little confused, so I questioned my four-year-old. “Audrey, did you see Emma put bird poop in her mouth.” The answer was yes, no, and then yes. Still not quite sure, I asked Emma, who also answered yes, no, and then yes again. I asked the question every way I could, but my girls answers changed as my frustration grew. To make matters even worst, Emma was eating a brand muffin that, after being chewed a little, looked just like chicken poop. So, when I looked into her mouth I really couldn’t tell one way or the other. Well, I wasn’t taking any chances.
I quickly snatched the brand muffin away and carried her off to have her mouth washed out. Throwing the brand muffin into the garbage, I explained that it was yucky and had bird poop on it. Emma kept repeating, “Yucky bird poop” and spitting. She cried when I washed her mouth with soap and was upset that I wouldn’t give her another muffin. She cried again when I told her she couldn’t play outside anymore until she learned not to eat bird poop! I was utterly disgusted!
That night I told my husband about the whole ordeal. He turned to Emma and questioned her one last time, “Emma did you eat bird poop?” She looked sad and ashamed, but answered “Yes” anyway. “Emma, where did you get the bird poop?” dad prodded. Looking even sadder, she replied, “Mommy put it on my muffin!”
That is when I solved the mystery. Audrey screamed that Emma was eating bird poop because she saw Emma eating a brand muffin that looked like bird poop. Emma agreed that she ate bird poop because her older and wiser sister told her she did. Emma thought Mommy put bird poop on her brand muffin because when I threw it away, I told her it had bird poop on it. She knew that she hadn’t put bird poop on her muffin, so she naturally assumed I did.
My poor Emma did not eat chicken poop. She was falsely accused, then convinced she had actually committed the crime, then had her perfectly clean mouth washed out with soap, and was then left wondering why her loving Mother would put bird poop on her brand muffin and then punish her for eating it! Will she ever forgive me?