Laura, I don’t know anyone that teaches their boys that it is okay to sexually assault scantily clad women. Yet, it still happens. So, instead of dreaming of a Utopia that doesn’t exist, let’s teach our girls how to dress for the real world. Besides, I can teach my daughters to dress respectfully and teach my sons to act respectfully, at the same time. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

That said, I still don’t understand feminists insistence that women should be allowed to expose themselves in public. We know that men are visually stimulated, so lets have some respect for them and not dress in a way that could tempt them. But then, isn’t that the point? When a women dresses “sexy’ isn’t she looking to attract sexual attention. Isn’t that why it is called “sexy.” So, now tell me why Christian women should be dressing sexy for men other than their husbands?

I know, how old fashioned it is to teach women to respect men. In this post-feminist era, only men should show respect, right?

As far as the Bible goes, this is the first generation of Christians who believe it supports a woman’s right to expose herself. But then, this is also the generation that discovered the Bible celebrates homosexuality. I am guessing this generation of Christians doesn’t actually read the Bible, or really care what it says.

Oh my GOODNESS. NO! No! You are not responsible for a man sexually assaulting you. And not being responsible is not at ALL the same thing with being okay with it. How in the world did you come to that conclusion from J’s comment about “judge not…”

and she is absolutely correct. I’m so horrified by this conversation. I don’t even know where to begin.

And modesty is a Biblical value, but if you go back to the text it is not about hem lines and sexuality. It is about materialism. Isaiah 3:16-23, 1 Timothy 2:9-12, 1 Peter 3:3, these were about women flaunting their wealth. Not their breasts or thighs.

This twisting of the scripture is about objectifying and sexualizing women and girls and infantalizing men. Dress appropriately, by all means. But our efforts are much better spent on teaching men to respect women (whether they are wearing a burqua or a bathing suit) than on teaching women to cover their bodies. And CHILDREN! Oh heavens. Lord help us.

Anywho I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately as I have a 6 mos old daughter now. ON one hand I feel I have plenty of time for this and on the other day I think it’s never too early to start. If we always have a no bikini rule then its not up for discussion. Though honestly I’m having trouble deciding what the “rules” will be
I mean for me theres the obvious no short shorts or skirts
if my undies are linger than your bottoms you NEED new bottoms ..lol
But I think strappy tanks are cute and innocent and practical here in south texas…but will the day come when I want think they are cute and innocent anymore as my daughter ages?
COuld you possibly give examples of good places to shop as she gets older that have appropriate length shorts and such?

You are not responsible or mindful of the ways others dress? Really? So, if a man exposes himself to you and your daughters, you are okay with that? Or are only girls allowed to expose themselves?

I am sorry that your Church doesn’t teach modesty since it is a Biblical value, but that is true of many Churches these days. They would rather pack the pews and fill the offering plates, than teach Biblical truth.

It is not “shaming” to give our daughters standards and teach them self-respect. I am glad that you have beautiful nieces that are doing well in school. But I never said that immodesty led to bad grades. Of course, grades do not measure character and values. And I can’t understand why an adult would be encouraging girls to expose themselves in public. What will looking sexy in a bikini gain them? What kind of men will it attract? What kind of predators will it attract? Is it respectful to others? I just don’t see any reason to promote immodesty. I think the desire to expose our bodies comes from a rebellious and selfish feminist attitude that teaches women to do whatever they want and to hell with everybody else.

Like your nieces, my daughters have great personalities. That is what I want others to notice about them; not how good they look in a bikini.

Couldn’t have said it better myself Lindsey! Thank you!

I don’t think you’re too off, but I can give my own experience in this area regarding how I was raised.
I was raised in a Christian home where modesty was not talked about or enforced at all. I know that might seem strange to those of us who do want to instill modesty (AND confidence) in our Christian homes; that’s just how it was when I was growing up. My parents wanted to take the approach of teaching their children to never be judgmental or ever put too much emphasis on appearance. Ironically, my Mom would often criticize her weight and appearance in front of her children. I was invited to dress how I wanted and to express myself, and to not judge others for their choice of clothes, too.
Looking back at pictures, my shorts barely covered my bottom, tops often showed the midriff, shirts were too low cut, etc. And, oddly enough, I was OVERLY critical and judgemental of how others would dress. I believe that was a result of the lack of instruction and direction from my parents about what is and what is not acceptable to wear (and, in my case, how to talk about oneself.)
It was a difficult transition for me after college and into adulthood to recognize and realize that we DO need to be very mindful of how we (and others) dress. Somewhere along the line our society has put more emphasis on individual growth and expression than on modesty and self control. As a future new mom (in July!) I have been thinking a lot about what I want to teach my children; and as a product of an upbringing without instruction of modesty and critical judgement or choice of clothing- even in a Christian home- I 100% will teach my children modesty and GOOD judgement (and nor will I ever criticize my weight or appearance in front of my kids! But that’s another story 😉 )
Tulip, thanks for the great article! So cute how your little daughter zipped up the lady’s shirt; she already can see what is and what is not appropriate! And she’s already a good steward of “Biblical correction” which so many people mistake as harsh judgement in our society! I know there can sometimes be a fine line there, but even Jesus tells us to remove the log from our own eye so we can see CLEARLY to remove the spec from our neighbor’s eye. 🙂

With much love and sincerity,
Lindsey

Maybe I’m way off. I am open to hearing others opinions on this. I am a brand new mom so I am just still trying to think through lots of things. Thank you for the encouragement you are to Christian moms! I love to learn and grow in this area 🙂

I do, however, love rule #2 — I think it’s so important to instill confidence in our children. I also think it’s important to avoid negative talk about ourselves because they really do absorb that, so we need to be nice to ourselves as well.