manners | True Aim

Manners as Character Training in a World Gone Tech

Samantha S — Thu, 25 Apr 2019 11:52:07 +0000

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” –Fred Astaire

Manners as Character Training in a World Gone Tech

Manners may seem like an old fashioned concept but they are one that every successful person in life is familiar with and attuned too.

What are Manners?

Manners are, simply put, “a person’s outward bearing or way of behaving toward others.” It’s just as easy, maybe more so, to have poor manners than pleasant ones. Manners cause you to stand out in a crowd, ear-mark you as a leader and provide appropriate and clear boundaries to people in social situations.

The Importance of Teaching Manners

In an age gone tech, where digital shorthand shortchanges the English language, and often the recipient, it’s important to teach our kids the value of manners- which, at their essence, are showing that one values others as much as oneself.

Teaching our kids manners teaches them that there is an appropriate hierarchy in the world, they are not the center of the universe and that it’s a Godly value to consider others as much as one would consider themselves.

“Good Manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” Clarence Thomas

Manners: Basic Communication

Manners, good, bad or indifferent, are a simple mode of communication, and communication is the foundation of all relationships. Displaying good manners to our family –being kind and helpful, smiling at each other, for instance, is a way to communicate our love and concern for them. Treating other people with good manners is a way to convey that we see and understand that they are created in the image of God, and thus worthy of being treated as one of His Sons or Daughters.

Clothes and manners do not make the man, but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance ~Arthur Ashe

Basic Manners to teach your kids

Say “please” and “thank-you” in your home.
Be present when talking to others. Don’t put your phone down. Put your phone away.
Make eye contact when meeting and talking to people.
Learn to greet people – shake hands, introduce yourself, start a conversation.
Learn to introduce others properly; introduce the oldest person first.
Smile and extend a greeting.
Say “excuse me” when you interrupt or reach across others.
Listen well so that the other person knows they are understood.
Teach table manners – chew with your mouth closed, use a napkin, don’t reach, pass the food, help clear, thank the cook, engage in polite conversations
Be thoughtful and helpful to others; consider them.
Show gratitude
Take care of personal property
Dress appropriately for dfferent occasions
Teach the essentials of polite conversations and the art of small talk
Teach proper ways to introduce others.
Teach how to earn and show respect
Teach appropriate text messaging, email, and texting as well as appropriate social media interaction. Be polite and be G rated.
Teach the art of setting boundaries – saying “yes” with grace, and “no with gentle firmness.
Don’t come empty handed- bring gifts to the host/ hostess. Flowers, a scented candle, a handwritten note.
Don’t be the first one to walk through a door- hold the door open for others.

Manners are the basic building block of civil society. ~ Alexander McCall Smith

Teaching Manners Teaches Character

How does teaching manners teach character?

Manners asks the person:

to consider and think about others
serve them and
to show self-discipline
to show gratitude.

Teaching manners is the best way to train our kids to be considerate. In a world that is tech saturated, that allows people to work and interact with no personal investment, manners are more important than ever. Manners allow us, demand that, we see and acknowledge the humanity of others.

~A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

View the full character building series here!

About the Author

Lisa Nehring has 1 husband, 2 graduate degrees, 5 kids and a black -belt in homeschooling having done so for over 25 years. She owns and operates True North Homeschool Academy, which offers live on-line classes for k-12th graders, clubs, testing and Advising. as well as a one-of-a-kind Special Needs program. Lisa teachers Latin, Writing and History and loves coming alongside fellow homeschoolers to ensure academic success! You can find her blogging at truenorthhomeschoolacademy.com or at one of her FB groups: True North Homeschool Tribe, Survive and Thrive Special Needs Homeschooling and Classical Homeschool. Check out her weekly podcast, on iTunes Soft Skills 101:Life Skills for a Digital Age https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/soft-skills-101/id1454120834

The post Manners as Character Training in a World Gone Tech first appeared on True Aim.

Manners for Children Live Video Hangout

Janine — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 01:21:00 +0000

Within the first month of getting married I realized how horrible my manners really were. My childhood was pretty free, while my husband grew up in a stricter house hold.

We were eating dinner one night, when my husband looked up and saw a chomping, chugging, slurping, burping, lady that somewhat resembled his wife. I looked up and saw his face and asked with a mouth full of food, “wha?” Now that I was relaxed in my own home, I had let my manners fall by the wayside.

I realized my shortcomings and that empowered me to teach my children good habits. Because, it’s not just about manners, right? It is about being considerate to others.

Now that I have taught my children manners and set the standard high, they help me stay in line. This makes everyone happier at the dinner table, and beyond, because everyone is more aware of how their words and actions effect others.

We all know manners are important, but how do we instill them in our children? Judge Clarence Thomas said, “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” So I’ve joined Jodi from Meaningful Mama to share some fun activities to get your children excited about having good manners.

Manners for Children Live Video Hangout

Manners Games for Kids

Etiquette Dinner Party

Learn how Jodi does her Etiquette Dinners and check out her list of Table Manners for kids.

Roll Playing with Manners

Practice makes perfect. Jodi’s kids get lots of practice with this fun game.

Free Table Manners Printable

Display the rules so your children know what to expect.

The Manners Game

The simplest way to teach table manners.

Shy or Rude?

Many young children have a natural fear of meeting new people. Here are some tips to get your child over this fear.

Manners Books for Children

*Contains an Affiliate link “The Berenstain Bears Forget their Manners”.

*Contains Affiliate links

This post is part of the 5 Tips in 5 Minutes Parenting Series.

For more parenting tips, like me on Facebook or follow me on Pinterest!

The post Manners for Children Live Video Hangout first appeared on True Aim.

The Manners Game – Don’t be afraid to take the kids out to eat!

Janine — Fri, 25 May 2012 15:25:00 +0000

The only thing more annoying than eating with a family that has rude children, is being the family with the rude kids. It happened to me only once, but it was traumatic enough for me to solemnly swear, “Never again!”

Humiliation is Served

By now beads of perspiration spotted my brow. The dinner conversation was taking its toll.

“Audrey, please stop yelling at the table… Audrey, please sit up… For goodness sake, take smaller bites… You are talking with your mouth full again… Didn’t I say stop yelling?… Hey, get out from under the table… Put that dessert back until you finish your meal…Did you just spit your food out on the table?… How about saying please first…Stop reaching, you’re going to spill your… Great, you spilled your milk all over the table… It is not funny, Audrey!”

I could feel the judgmental glares from the other guests piercing me and I could hear their disgruntled thoughts. Half were thinking, “Geez, lay off. She is just a kid and you sound like a broken record,” while the other half thought, “For crying out loud, why don’t you spank that little monster.”

I imagined the two groups both thought, “What a bad parent and what a miserable dinner party!” The pressure was taking its toll. I just wanted dinner to be over so I could hide myself.

Finally, it all came to a head. My lovely daughter was yelling down the table for the umpteenth time. By now everyone, including me, was sick of hearing my voice. So, I decided to casually remind her to quiet down by tapping her leg under the table. I stretched out my foot and gave a light tap.

She didn’t even blink – to excited to feel the nudge. I stretched out again and kicked slightly harder.

Nothing.

I was determined to secretly get her attention, so I slid down in my seat giving myself enough reach to give her a good solid kick. Unfortunately, the kick was very solid, a little too solid. Audrey gasped, her eyes welded up with tears. I held my breath.

Then the flood gates burst open and she started to wail, “Mommy kicked me! Why did Mommy kick me?” She was inconsolable and I was utterly humiliated, so I threw in the towel. I smiled politely and excused myself.

On the way out, in a last ditch effort to save face, I made a classic parental excuse for my child’s poor behavior. Looking very puzzled I claimed, “I don’t understand. She never acts this way – she is probably just overly tired. She hasn’t had a nap today.”

Then I tucked my tail and left.

The Game Changer

Luckily, that was a long time ago. It is now my pleasure to take my children out with me. Everywhere I go I get genuine compliments on how well-mannered my daughters are. In fact, now if there is any embarrassment it is that my girls make their mother look ill-mannered in comparison. I attribute their dramatic transformation to a silly little game I came up with called, “The Manners Game.”

The Manners Game is very simple. Each family member gets three Popsicle sticks, or other reward, to put on their place mat. Before the game commences, go around the table and have everyone recite a few “Table Manner Rules.” After that, you are ready to begin.

If one family member sees someone breaking a “Table Manner Rule” he gets to take one of their Popsicle sticks. Whoever has the most Popsicle sticks at the end of the dinner wins.

My kids love this game. It is the only time they are “authorized” to correct Mom and Dad. You can make the game more fun by intentionally making a few “manner mistakes” and then pretending to be shocked and outraged when your children correct you. They will love it!

Of course, there are a few drawbacks. For starters, playing games at the table is poor table etiquette. So, you will want to explain that normally games are not allowed at the table during dinner time. The Manners Game is a special exception and can only be initiated by a parent. Also, remind them that ordinarily they are not allowed to correct adults. They may only do so during the Manners Game.

When we first started playing the Manners Game we did not make a clear enough distinction. So, at a big family get together, my three year old assumed it was OK to go around spot-checking her aunts and uncles’ table manners.

That said, overall this has been a wildly successful game. The game not only taught my girls table etiquette, but also gave them incentive to self-correct. Starting this game early, before bad habits are formed, will greatly increase your chances of being successful with the game.

For this reason, I can honestly say that the two people with the worst table manners in our family are now my husband and I. Our bad habits have persisted for decades, making them much tougher to break and establish new ones.

However, our girls seemed to master table etiquette the first time we played the game! We continued to play for several months and then slowly phased the game out. Now that our daughters have formed good habits at the table, I believe that they would have to work hard even if they wanted to revert to their old ways.

I hope the Manners Game works as well for your family as it has for mine. If you have some tips of your own, please leave a comment.

Check out my other posts on Manners:

Table Manner Rules Free Printable

Shy or Rude?

Linking up Here

Check out Blue Manor’s Character Development Books!

The post The Manners Game – Don’t be afraid to take the kids out to eat! first appeared on True Aim.