Have you ever wondered if it’s really all that important to read the Bible with your family?

Could it really be a part of God’s plan to study the Bible with your whole family?

Is it even possible to read the Bible with all your kids at the same time?

As homeschool parents, we do have the opportunity to spend our Bible time with all of our children at once. Not only does it make the process easier–it looks pretty biblical, as well.

Why Read and Study the Bible with Your Whole Family?

I always like to look to God’s original design when considering how we should function in our lives.

Just like God established the church, he established families—and he directs families to worship together.

In the Old Testament, as we see in Ezra, Nehemiah, and Joel, families are called to stand together for the public reading of God’s Word—even the smallest people.

While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men, women, and children, gathered to him out of Israel, for the people wept bitterly. – Ezra 10:1, ESV

In Ezra, children were included in the assembly of the Lord.

And all the people gathered as one man into the square before the Water Gate. And they told Ezra the scribe to bring the Book of the Law of Moses that the Lord had commanded Israel. So Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, both men and women and all who could understand what they heard, on the first day of the seventh month. And he read from it facing the square before the Water Gate from early morning until midday, in the presence of the men and the women and those who could understand. And the ears of all the people were attentive to the Book of the Law. – Nehemiah 8:1-3

The book of Nehemiah also describes children in the assembly, listening to the Book of the Law of Moses. Nehemiah 12:43 refers to children rejoicing with the people.

…gather the people.
Consecrate the congregation;
assemble the elders;
gather the children,
even nursing infants.
Let the bridegroom leave his room,
and the bride her chamber. – Joel 2:16, ESV

In Joel, the assembly even includes nursing infants.

Not only are we to worship our Lord together in the larger body of Christ. We are also called to worship God as a family. Deuteronomy chapters 6 and 11 have, perhaps, some of the best known, direct commands to do so.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Grab your FREE Bible Study Tool Kit–over 130 pages of Bible resources for your family!

Read the Bible with Family

• That God’s Word is important
• That we can learn about the Bible together, and from each other
• That our family has committed “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15b)

There is great value, too, in being able to guide our kids through the Bible. We want to be able to help point them—over and over again—to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

• It is so vital that our kids learn who God is—that he is sovereign and holy.
• They need to know that we are sinful and that our sin separates us from a holy and just God.
• We want to communicate over and over again that God loves us so much that he had a great plan for our salvation since before the beginning of the world, and Jesus—God the Son and the Son of God—became fully God and fully man so he could live a sinless life and take the punishment for our sins.
• We need only to believe on him and confess in with our mouths, turning from our sin—repenting—and we will be saved.
• We also want our kids to understand Jesus’ commands to his followers.

Not only can we study the Bible as a family, it is really important that we do. Our kids need our guidance and support understanding the most important book in the universe.

Danika Cooley’s book Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible is your crash course on teaching the Bible to your kids. Danika is an award-winning children’s author and Bible curriculum developer, and her popular Bible Road Trip is used by tens of thousands of families.

Learn more about Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible and grab your free 130-page Bible Study Tool Kit here.

The post Why Read and Study the Bible with Your Whole Family? first appeared on True Aim.

As we bring this series to a close, I found it most appropriate to end it with patience. The following resources and tools will help you teach this amazing, yet sometimes difficult, trait to your children (and glean a little for yourself).

Learning About Patience

With the very definition of patience being, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset,” there are three primary concepts that can be the focus of teaching your children about it:

1. Waiting calmly for something (especially an event or a reward).
2. Trusting in God’s timing (regardless if we understand it or not).
3. Being more tolerant of other’s shortcomings (especially when they have a direct effect on us).

As parents, we know all too well how our children handle things in life. They want what they want when they want it. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. The resources below will help you teach your child about minding their temper, changing their demanding attitude, and being tolerant of the failings of others.

Memory Verses about Patience

The idea behind incorporating Scripture into your character study is to help invite the Holy Spirit to bring about a lasting change in your children. Use the Scriptures below for memorization, copy work, journaling, or in prayer:

• Psalm 37:7 “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways when they carry out wicked schemes.”
• Proverbs 14:29 “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”
• Proverbs 19:11 “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”
• Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
• 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind. . . .”
• Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.”
• Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Bible Stories to Teach Patience

As I’ve said before, reading Bible stories are a great way to help your child have a great connection to the Word. They can also be used to show our children how a trait can be walked out in their own lives. These stories are a great place to start when teaching about patience:

God is Good (Nehemiah 9)

Key concepts: Talk to your children about God caring for the Israelites and how that can be seen in how you care about them (your children). Point out that although God was upset with them, He still showed patience. And even though He was patient, He still had to discipline them. Relate it to the fact that as parents, we have to be patient but there is also a time for discipline.

The Patient Farmer (James 5:7-9; Mark 4:18-19)

Key concepts: Just as a farmer keeps his farm to grow and produce a certain crop, we too can be farmers for God’s kingdom. This means being patient and kind to others, never knowing when our character will be the very thing that helps someone come to accept Jesus as their Savior.

Jesus is Patient (1 Timothy 1:15-16 and 2 Peter 3:9)

Paul talks about how Jesus displays unlimited patience, waiting for people to confess their sins. God has a lot of patience. Every day He waits for people to tell Him they are sorry they have sinned. God is so patient that He keeps waiting. He loves us all so much that He doesn’t want anyone to miss out on having his or her sins forgiven.

Activities to Teach Patience

Use the following arts and crafts ideas to teach patience to your children:

• Patience heart necklace: cut out a small heart from construction paper and punch two holes in it (one on each side) to use as the centerpiece. Put a memory verse on it and tie a piece of yarn through the two holes. Have your child wear it as a necklace and reminder to be patient.
• Patience fruit: use your child’s favorite fruit to create a fruit stamp art activity. Cut the fruit in half and dip it in paint. Then, stamp it on a piece of paper. Explain that it resembles the fruit of the spirit’s patience.
• Growing patience: choose a flower to grow from seed. Have your child keep a growing chart and also teach about the patience of growing a flower.

These resources are sure to help teach your child about patience! Enjoy!

The post Teaching Character in Your Homeschool: Patience first appeared on True Aim.

6 Tips for Parenting Christian Kids

Here are some tips for parenting christian kids that can help you enjoy your journey even more.

1. Know your child’s love language

I’m sure you love your kids and they know it too! But do you know your child’s love language? In his book, The 5 Love Languages of Children, Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that everyone has a unique way of giving and receiving love. He lists 5 love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch. Knowing the unique love language of each of our children will help us communicate our love better and strengthen our relationship with each child.

2. Enforce a no-device rule during mealtimes 

Mealtimes are great opportunities to catch up with each other’s day and stay connected as a family. But very often, we may be tempted to check our emails or catch up with the daily news. And our kids are more than happy to be left alone with their devices. Establishing a no-device rule during mealtimes will help in facilitating meaningful interactions.

3. Parenting Christian Kids – Schedule family playtime

Families that play together, stay together. Be intentional about scheduling regular family playtimes, be it sports or indoor board games. Give each family member a chance to choose what game to play. Consider games that are not only fun but can also teach valuable lessons.

Bible Games Central has a collection of bible games for kids that makes learning the Bible fun. If your budget allows, plan regular family trips away from home. These don’t necessarily have to cost an arm and a leg. Choose something that suits your family’s budget and interests. Involve your kids in the planning and give them a say on where to go and what to do. 

4. Allow your kids to be bored

It’s not your job to keep your kids entertained, 24/7. Don’t fully pack your kids’ schedules, and don’t jump in to entertain them every time they complain that they are bored. Teach your kids to play by themselves. You may also want to consider setting a no-wifi rule for certain times of the day to ensure that your kids are not hooked on the internet. Using an automatic timer switch for this will really be helpful. 

5. Start them young with chores

Chores are a great way for kids to learn responsibility.  Kids won’t remain kids for life and it is our job as parents to equip them to become responsible adults (when they eventually get there). Start with small things when they are young. It may mean buying lighter brooms and non-breakable dishes and having to patiently (and painfully) wait for chores to be completed in double the time we take, but it will be well worth it in the long run.

6. Parent with eternity in mind

Our kids are gifts from God, for us to cherish here on earth until the time we all return to our Father in heaven. While we have the responsibility to provide and care for their earthly needs, we must parent them with eternity in mind. Pray for your children daily and let them know that you are praying for them. Teach them God’s commandments. “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:7) Be a role model for your kids and let them see you live out your faith in your daily life.

Not only are we to make disciples of our own children, but we must also help them to “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). Get them excited about sharing the gospel with their friends using one of these Gospel Tracts specially created with children in mind. Equipping your kids with wearable gospel tools like the salvation bracelet also mean they are always ready to share the gospel.

Check out more parenting tips here!

Alvin Gan is the father of three noisy (but lovely) teenagers and founder of www.BibleGamesCentral.com. At Bible Games Central, you will find a variety of fun and captivating games complete with Bible learning points, recommended scripture passages and discussion questions.

The post 6 Tips for Parenting Christian Kids first appeared on True Aim.

I didn’t see my dad again until I was 7. Between 7 and 18 I only saw him a handful of times. I didn’t know him at all. So when marriage (and eventual fatherhood) lay on the horizon for me, I knew I needed to get some things figured out so I could be the kind of dad I wanted to be and wished I had.

5 Keys to Being a Wise Dad

Since that time, by the grace of God, I’ve raised a son and a daughter, and I’m now grandpa to two precious little girls. Through the struggle that is parenting, I learned a few things, and I want to share with you 5 keys to being a wise dad out of Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” 

Man Up!

This verse is addressed to you dad. In fact, in all of the instructions about family life that begins in Ephesians 5:22, the man of the house – that’s you dad – receives the most instructions. He’s addressed as husband, as dad, and as boss to his servants. Why? Because the apostle Paul is calling you to man up. You have a massive role to play in the home if it’s going to embody the wisdom of Christ. Put thought and time and energy into learning how to be the best dad you can be. This is your responsibility. Own it!

Being a Wise Dad -Reject Passivity

Also, this verse calls you to act. “Bring them up.” That’s active, and that means a wise dad must reject being passive. You can’t just go with the flow. Be done with “sure,” “whatever,” and “I don’t care.” You’ve got to care … if you’re going to be a wise dad.

Get off your phone and out of your favorite chair. Actively engage with you wife and your kids. Plan family outings. Have discussions with your wife about the best way to bring each of your kids up according to God’s wisdom. Take responsibility for what goes on at home. Pursue Christ. Keep growing. Step up. Show up. Be engaged. Reject passivity.

Chart the Course

Where do you want your kids to end up? Where are you trying to lead them? This verse says you want to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. That’s your assignment. That’s the destination you’re called to take your kids to. Now chart the course.

How are you going to bring them up in Jesus’ way? Do you know Jesus’ way? If not, what are you doing to learn it? What Christlike values will shape the culture in your home? What activities will be central, so that you can bring them up this way? What activities do you want to minimize or avoid?

You don’t have to do all of this by yourself of course (unless you and your wife are no longer together). You and your wife should be talking about these kinds of things at each stage of your child’s development. She will see things you don’t see. She will have perspectives you don’t. Knowing the destination, the two of you together make course corrections under your wise leadership.

Being a Wise Dad – Build the Relationship

This verse also instructs you make sure you don’t “provoke your children to anger.” Some translations say “don’t exasperate.” The idea is don’t stir up resentment and bitterness in your child. The best way to avoid that is to pair your training and discipline with relationship.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking your primary job is to correct wrong behavior. It’s not. Your primary job is to teach and model right behavior. And that requires relationship. Listen to your son and your daughter. Get to know what makes them tick. Take an interest in what interests them. Treat them with respect as a person. Seek to understand how they’re wired.

My son struggled to turn in homework not because he was irresponsible. He struggled because he was disorganized. And that required a different kind of response than if he were irresponsible. We must know them if we’re going to teach and train them in wise ways.

Aim for Influence

Your goal is not to manage behavior. Your goal is to form character. And that has far more to do with influence than control. Besides, control is short term. It’s really only appropriate for a few years out of their life. But influence is long term.

Wouldn’t it be great to be a dad who gets phone calls from his 28 year old son or 26 year old daughter asking for your advice? That’s the power of influence. So when your kids are small, you’re going to have to control their behavior. But that is a means to a greater end – to being a person of influence in your child’s life through the teen years and on into adulthood.

Influence grows out of listening to them and respecting them. It involves giving them the freedom to make mistakes and fail, and then come to you not for a lecture but for coaching and insight. And it comes from becoming the kind of person they would want to learn from. I talk about this in detail in my short parenting book Prepare Them to Flourish. 

There you have it. Five keys to being a wise dad. I’m confident that if you seek with God’s help to put these into practice and do so with humility, you will be the kind of dad who makes a difference and really matters in your kid’s life.

John Whittaker has been serving in ministry for 30 years. He loves to help people see how God’s word speaks to their life and his greatest thrill in life is to see people come alive to the joy of walking with God honestly, humbly, and transformationally. John served as a professor at Boise Bible College for 19 years, as well as pastoring at a couple of different churches in the Boise area and teaching and preaching in various places around the world. His partner in ministry is Louise, his closest friend and wife for 30 years. They have two married children and are expecting their first grand daughter in November and their second grandchild in February! To learn more about John and the online Bible teaching resources he’s currently creating visit johnwhittaker.net

The post 5 Keys to Being a Wise Dad first appeared on True Aim.

I know a lot of moms who feel stressed because well, I do and I refuse to believe that I’m the only one and almost every mom in my bible study says the same thing!

I don’t have this mom thing down pat, but I have come across of few gems over the years to help me deal with the stress, lighten my mental load, and be a little more patient with my kids. Today, I’d like to share five of those parenting gems with you!

Phone Alerts

Before I had kids, I felt like I remembered everything. Got a dentist appointment in two weeks? I remembered. Need to pick up eggs and milk on the way home from work? No problem. Bathroom gets cleaned on Saturday? Done. (or, if it didn’t get done it’s just because I hate cleaning bathrooms and ignored it on purpose!)

But, after I became a Mom……whew! I feel like I forget everything! I do use a To Do List, but that means I have to remember what to put on the list in the first place. And, I’ll just be honest, one of the things I’m bad at is cleaning because….well, I just don’t like to do it. So, I would make my To Do List and the thought of putting my cleaning tasks for the day on it wouldn’t even cross my mind.

Then, one day I thought, what if I put my cleaning schedule on my phone and make it remind me?! Genius.

So, now my phone reminds me three times a week to pick up the toys. Monday afternoons at 3pm it reminds me to vacuum. Thursday mornings at 10am? Bathroom cleaning time!

I went to my calendar and created an event. Then, named the event for whatever cleaning task I wanted to be reminded of. Enter the time you want to do the cleaning task and set a remind for the time of event. Then, set it to repeat weekly.

Here are the cleaning tasks that I have set in my phone to give you some ideas:

pick up toys

clean bathrooms

vacuum

dust

You can use your phone to remind you about things besides cleaning, too. Maybe you like to go to the gym for an exercise class, but always seem to miss the start time. Put a reminder on your phone for 1 hour before.

Are you a working mom who gets so busy in the evenings that you sometimes forget to get down on the floor and play or read with your kids? Set a reminder.

I know for myself, and a lot of moms, I think, we feel like we have to do it all ourselves. But, we don’t. Learn to use the resources you have to take a little bit of the mental load off and you just might feel a bit….lighter. I know I did.

How to Stop Yelling

I used to teach high school math. A lot of people say they could never teach high school. I loved my students. And I never yelled at them. I taught for six years and I think I yelled once and then I felt really bad later and apologized.

But, I when I had children of my own, I felt like all I did was yell at them! What is that?! I mean, I love them more than life itself and I couldn’t stop yelling at them.

I felt stressed out, so I yelled. And that made me feel more stressed out.

Then, one day I changed something and it really helped. I started singing to my kids when I was about to yell at them. I’m not talking Twinkle Twinkle Little Star here, I mean singing “Pleeeeease, go get your shooooooes on riiiiight nooooow”.

And you know what? They listened. In fact, they loved it! And I didn’t get mad. The singing actually helped me stay relaxed.

If you are a mom who feels like she yells at your kids all the time and you want to stop, try singing at them instead. You may feel silly at first, but I’d rather feel silly than mad and stressed out!

Overwhelmed Mom? Lower Your Bar

I love Pinterest. And I love Facebook. I’m a very visual person, so I love how Pinterest is basically like a visual Google. And I love Facebook because it lets me keep in touch with family from a far.

But, I don’t love the feeling that I get for a split second when I see a post of someone’s house and it’s perfectly clean. Or, if someone did something really cool with their kids and they had to prepare and plan and get supplies ready and I think “oh, I should do more things with my kids.” Those feelings are not good.

And I do plenty with my kids. In fact, we homeschool, I do stuff with my kids all day long! But, social media is great at making moms feel like they have to meet this high jump record for motherhood.

Well, you don’t.

It’s time to lower the bar. The bar for housework. The bar for meal prep. The bar for parenting. Lower them all.

Now, I don’t mean for you to just sit on the couch and scroll social media all day while your kids watch TV.

No.

But, it is time for moms to realize that you have kids at home, so your house isn’t going to be perfect. You don’t have time to clean all day, every day.

You’re busy being a fantastic Mom, so dinner isn’t always going to be perfect.

And, you don’t have to play with your kids all day every day. In fact, research shows that it’s better if you let them play on their own a portion of the time.

So, ditch that feeling like your life has to be social media perfect all the time. You’ll feel a lot better.

Overwhelmed Mom, You Are Not an Island

You love being a mom, but you hate feeling like a maid.

When you’re kids were little, you did have to do everything for them. But, somehow, as they got a little older…..you kept doing everything for them!

It’s such an easy trap to get into. I only recently realized that I was just doing a lot of things that my kids could be doing either 1) for themselves or 2) to help around the house.

For some reason, a lot of moms have trouble making that transition from “they need us to do everything” to “they can do a lot of things”. I definitely did.

But, recently, I have made the intentional effort to ask my kids (and husband) to do more. My kids are 7, almost 5, and almost 3, and here are something things I have delegated…for the most part:

Feeding the dog...we made a schedule and each girl gets two days a week and Mom/Dad get one. Even my toddler can do this.

Putting clothes away…I fold them and they put them away. This required me to accept that their dressers might not be organized exactly how I would do it (as in, everything is crammed into one drawer), but I have faith they will grow into it.

Putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher…I used to pick up everyone’s dirty dishes from the table and put them in the dishwasher. I still sometimes get them, but I also say “girls, get your plates and put them in the dishwasher”. This took a little training just to show them where their plates go, etc, but well worth it. The other day we were at a friend’s house and my toddler had some water and then said “where your dishwasher?” Definitely a proud mom moment there!

Cleaning…when I was growing up, our Dad made me and my two brothers clean a bathroom once a week. And he would inspect it. I hated it, but I learned to clean. Apparently it stemmed from his college roommate not even knowing that you needed to clean a bathroom…”when I’m a parent….”. My girls aren’t doing full house cleaning (yet), but they have started helping in the bathrooms and dusting. I use Seventh Generation cleaning wipes and they help wipe down counters and toilets. I use Ecloths for the mirrors and they help with that. For dusting, they each get a microfiber cloth and go to town on the bookshelves, etc.

If your kids aren’t helping around the house, a simple way to get started is to just ask them to do something instead of you doing it.

For example, you bend down to pick up the basket of toys that are spread all over the kitchen floor….again….but, instead of picking them up, you stand back up and say “Susiiiiie, come put these toys back in the basket when you’re done X”. Then, it gets done and you didn’t do it!

It might take a while to get in the habit of delegating things a bit more, but you’ll get the hang of it, and you’ll be happy you did.

Shrink Your List

Whenever I start a To Do List, I can feel my motivation to be productive increase. Writing that list gives me the feeling like I’m going to be productive today! and then, at the end of the day, I’ve crossed off about two things and my feeling of motivation and optimism morph into feelings of disappointment.

This ever happen to you?

But, you know what? There were 20 things on my To Do List. There’s no way I was going to get it all done. The moment I started writing that list, I was setting myself up for failure.

Why?

Because my expectations for how much I can actually get done in a day were unrealistic.

One simple way to release a little bit of that overwhelming feeling of motherhood is to simply expect to get less done.

If you are an overwhelmed mom and your list for most days has 15-20 things and you’ve got a crowd of little ones following you around all day, there’s no way you’re going to get all those tasks completed.

I once read that your To Do List for the day should fit on a sticky note. If it’s any longer than that, you are setting your self up for failure and disappointment because you won’t be able to cross off all your tasks and that leads to feeling like you didn’t get anything done.

But, if you keep your list to, say, five tasks, then you have a much better chance of getting them checked off. And there is just something about crossing those chores off your list that motivates you to get the other things done.

If you often feel like you “got nothing done today”, then I encourage you to keep a (very short) To Do List and cross the tasks off as they are completed. You’ll be surprised how much you can actually get done.

Slow and Steady

There are some good, meaty ideas here. I suggest you pick one or two and try and work them into your daily routine. Once that habit has become, well, a habit, add something else in.

And don’t expect perfection. You are a busy mom with a busy house. It’s not going to be spotless or clutter free all the time. But, it can be better. And you can feel lighter.

I hope you enjoyed these ideas and you find them useful. Do you have other tips for busy moms to feel less overwhelmed and more organized during their days? I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

Check out 30 More tips to be a Better Parent!

Surya is the wife to a wonderful lover of the outdoors and mother to three princess wannabes. You can find her at The Busy Mom Club where she shares homeschooling and parenting advice in between getting her kids a snack.

The post 5 Tips for the Overwhelmed Mom in Us All first appeared on True Aim.

6 Reasons Your Children Don’t Obey You!

1. You don’t expect them to

Your kids act how you expect them to act. If your child repeatedly doesn’t listen or doesn’t do what you ask of him, chances are you’ve trained him that way.

Too many of us approach discipline flippantly and treat obedience from our children as optional. Ignoring direct disobedience can make a child vulnerable to an ongoing spirit of rebellion. So set the bar high!

2. You’ve Taught Them To Respond Only When You Yell

For the sake of convenience, we tend to overlook what we consider small things and don’t deal with them right away. Eventually however, those “minor offenses” escalate until we have a much bigger problem. Then we’re more likely to explode in anger, because we feel the issue has grown beyond our control.

You can accomplish what is needed in a serious tone, without yelling. Reserve a sharper tone when immediate obedience is mandatory (such as “STOP! Don’t cross the road, there’s a car coming!!!”).

Speak quietly or lower your voice and get down to your child’s level, to get their attention. Look him or her in the eye with a serious look on your face. Maintain eye contact and let them know you mean business.

3. You Don’t Follow Through With Consequences

When we shield our kids from the consequences of their actions we’re not doing them (or us) any favors. Sparing them the pain of discipline teaches them not to obey. Then they end up calling the shots in our homes, which leads to them feeling insecure and being resented by us.

Firmly say no, and don’t leave room for any doubt by wavering, not answering, or cracking a smile. Stick to your guns when you issue a consequence, even though they may throw a gymnastics fit on you! Don’t let them plead over and over again, either (this begins young – be patient, but as they grow older, don’t go down that road or they’ll wear you out).

4. You’re Inconsistent With Discipline

If you only address your child’s negative behavior 60% of the time then you will have a child who disobeys more than 60% of the time! Why? Because your child is counting on you to be lazy this one time.

When you say no for one particular thing, always say no for that thing. Don’t be wishy-washy because that confuses kids and makes them think that you don’t really mean no. Using a different consequence every single day for the same behavior is also not a good idea. Consistency takes effort, but the rewards definitely pay off!

5. You Aren’t Submissive To Your Husband

Yes, I used the “s” word! But it’s not as dirty as it sounds. Submission literally means to “arrange yourself under”.

If you constantly question your husband’s statements or suggestions, or point out what he does wrong in front of your kids, it sets a bad example. Your children are learning that you don’t listen to their father, so why would they have to listen to you?

6. You Don’t Believe In Your God-given Authority

In our modern culture, we’ve been told that authoritative equals mean. Most of us don’t even want to sound like we’re giving our children an order because, empowerment. So we end up using phrases that start with “Would you…” or “Can you please…” and then tack on “okay?” to the end. These are not commands that imply prompt action however; these are merely suggestions. And our kids treat them as such.

But you’re not trying to win friends- you’re trying to grow mature, godly, confident adults.

Chip Ingram says, “if your kids don’t learn to obey your voice – the person they can see – then how will they learn to obey their heavenly Father – whom they cannot see?” You embody the security and limits that ultimately come from submitting to a loving heavenly Father. If we have a healthy respect for God and the authority He has given us as parents, our kids will enjoy a strong sense of security and purpose in daily life.

Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not lost heart.” It’s rarely convenient to address negative behavior, but here’s a parenting secret: the more diligent and consistent you are, the less tantrums, meltdowns and disobedience you’ll see. The stakes are so high here, and we must be willing to dig our heels in and do the hard work of parenting.

What attitudes or beliefs do you struggle with most when it comes to expecting obedience from your kids?

Check out 30 More Ways to Be a Better Parent

Marisa Boonstra is a homeschooling mom of two and author of Bucking The System: Reclaiming Our Children’s Minds For Christ, published in January 2016. She writes to encourage women to find purpose and joy in their God-given calling as mothers, helping them raise children with a biblical worldview. She relies on Jesus and coffee to get her through the day, and loves marveling at the cultural differences between New Jersey where she grew up and Oklahoma where her family has been transplanted! You can find more of her writings over at calledtomothering.com.

The post 6 Reasons Why Your Children Don’t Obey You first appeared on True Aim.

In a world filled with external risks, it can be easy to overlook emotional landmines we might be setting in our relationships with our kids. But at a time when youth suicide is a growing problem, we absolutely must get a handle on the pressure that is bearing down on our kids. Unfortunately, our expectations can become dangerous weapons that hurt our children, ourselves, and our entire families.

There are two ways we can get off track—and one place we can turn when we’ve lost our way on this parenting journey.

When parents expect too much – UNFULFILLED DREAMS

I’ll never forget the moment I held my firstborn baby in my arms. It was magical. I remember rocking her in the middle of the night when she was two days old, unable to imagine a time when we would disagree. By the time she was five days old, she had a preferred direction for feeding and had to learn that life would not always work as she desired.

As parents, we spend nearly two decades (or more) aligning our children’s expectations with reality. From convincing a toddler that wearing clothes is essential to teaching a teen about relationships and taxes, we have our work cut out. And when we’re in the messy middle of trying to mold and shape our children into functioning members of society, we tend to develop a vision of what parenting success looks like.

If we’re not careful, that vision will be built around our own dreams, ambitions, and fears.

It’s natural to want our children to have everything we didn’t—and to shield them from the pain we’ve experienced in life—but the pressure to do more and be better can hurt our children more than it helps them. As parents, we should not only be authorities in our children’s lives telling them what they should do—we need to become authorities on our children.

We should know who they are as individuals so we can help them recognize their unique value. This is more important than ever in a world almost overwhelmed by unhealthy levels of comparison.

In order to be the parents our children need we have to make sure we aren’t pressuring them to become what we wish we were. Instead, we must replace our preconceived notions about what their futures will hold with a healthy curiosity about what surprises God has in store for them (and us).

When parents expect too much – MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Another place where we get tangled up is when we know the job we’re doing as parents will be measured by the behavior of our children.

If I were to let my brood of five under the age of eight loose to run wild in a public place, you would—and should—judge me. But it’s also important to keep in mind that there’s a difference between good parenting and Godly parenting. We should all try to be good parents in a practical way, but the behavior of our children should never become a measure of our value as people. This is easy to know in theory, but much harder to apply in reality.

No matter how difficult the early years may feel, I’m convinced the hardest part of parenting is yet to come. When they’re little, I’m keeping busy with the hard work of providing the foundation they’ll need in the future. Once they grow up, it’s up to them to decide how they will live.

Sometimes I have friends who are excellent parents agonizing over whether their children will make the right choices. I have one question for them: “Do you think you’re going to do a better job of parenting than God?” In the Bible we see God’s people turn away from him repeatedly. He was faithful, but they still made poor choices. What’s incredible is that an all-powerful God would refrain from making them behave.

Instead, He gave them free-will—the opportunity to enter into a real relationship with Him. In other words, He chose love over control.

I am convinced that God wants us to do the same. It may not look that different on the surface, but our kids will know the difference when we’re parenting out of love rather than with our focus on what other people will think of us.

GRACE FOR THE JOURNEY

Sometimes keeping our expectations in check can seem difficult—especially when our perspective is based on a solid foundation. As a Christian parent your theme verse for parenting might be Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” I believe that is the absolute truth. I also believe, in some cases, entire novels could be written about that period of time before “when he is old.” (There is a reason the parable about the prodigal son is included in the Bible.)

Whether your children stray far from what you want for them or cling to the values you raised them with, you can expect one thing for sure: you and your children will mess up at times. You will fall short. And you’ll all need forgiveness and grace.

Thankfully, we have a God who was not only willing to allow us to make our own choices—He also loves us enough to have made the sacrifice necessary to wipe away the ugliness of our sins. In the end, sharing the beauty of having a humble heart, one willing to accept this give of grace, with our children will matter far more than any expectations we could have for them.

Check out 30 more Ideas to be a Better Parent!

Teri Capshaw is an author, former journalist, and homeschooling mom on a mission to help families thrive in an overstressed world. In her book Dying to Win she takes a big-picture look at factors pushing students too hard—and provides parents with practical strategies to ignite and inspire their children’s love of learning.

The post When Parents Expect too Much from Their Kids first appeared on True Aim.

And, while the royal families did vary in their parenting approaches, there are three things that all royal families believed set them apart from other families.

3 Things Royal Families Can Teach Us About Parenting

1. Loyalty

When your enemies are plotting against you, no matter what you hear, it’s better to be loyal. Royal families were used to gossip and slander. Family members who believed the gossip about other family members and sided with outsiders against their kin, always brought heartache, like with Absalom and King David or Edward the II of England.

Loyalty is what holds families together. The minute you break it, vulnerability and weakness creep in and it is almost impossible to repair. How can we use this lesson to be a better parent? We can cultivate a strong bond between siblings, support our spouse in discipline and always be weary of saying negative things to outsiders about our family.

2. Tradition

Instead of being something that changes with the culture, tradition is foundational to Royal families. Tradition connects the past and the future. They set families apart from the rest. They create memories that last.

These aren’t just fun things you do during the holidays. This is something useful that your family does to preserve itself and show respect. For example, in British tradition, when the Queen stands, everyone stands. What kinds of traditions have you created in your family?

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_royal_family.JPG

3. What Royal Families Can Teach Us About Parenting: Etiquette

Royal families don’t just practice good etiquette; in many cases, their families created the rules. They understand, that Manners set you apart because they are meant to convey respect for others and yourself.

Teach your child etiquette so that they know how to conduct themselves in a way that shows both empathy and confidence, so that they don’t feel awkward and out of place in social situations. The rules of etiquette will help them know the right thing to do and say in public, so they stand out for the right reasons.

Have you learned any parenting tips from a royal family? We’d love to hear about it!

Check out more 5-minute Parenting Tips

The post 3 Things Royal Families Can Teach Us About Parenting! first appeared on True Aim.

I went to a parenting class for the first time after my 5th child was born. At first it was just a productive thing to do where I could get away from the kids. It turned into my favorite tool to get focused on what really matters and how to maintain that perspective when dealing with my children throughout the week.

The most helpful was hearing other parents talk about their struggles. Wow! I was going through the exact same things. 

You aren’t alone in this parenting journey. Most of us are having the same experiences, good and bad. Stay the course. Fight the good fight. 

30+ Ways to be a Better Parent

Here are some amazing 5-minute parenting tips to help you in your journey and remained focused on what really matters! Come back each week for new ideas to be published!

3 Things Royal Families Can Teach Us About Parenting

5 Ways to Avoid Toxic Motherhood

Parenting Tips From a Child’s Perspective

When Parents Expect too Much from Their Kids

6 Tips for Parenting Christian Kids

6 Reasons Your Children Don’t Obey You

5 Keys to Being a Wise Dad

5 Ways to Inspire Creativity in Your Kids

5 Tips for the Overwhelmed Mom

10 Politically Incorrect Parenting Books

Do you have any quick tips for parents that you’d like to share? Please leave a comment!

Parenting Resources Giveaway!

Crossroads of Character Digital eBook Pack from Character Concepts $36 Value!

4 Must-Read Parenting Books:
Parenting Beyond the Rules
Sacred Parenting
Prepare Them to Flourish
The Talk

Exclusive Prelaunch Edition: The Art of Raising Children for Greatness

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Click here to read more Mom’s Library Series!

The post 30+ Ways to be a Better Parent – 5-Minute Parenting Tips first appeared on True Aim.

If we want our kids to be thankful for what they have, to be content, and to have a servant’s heart, it’s clear that we’re going to need to intentionally fight back against the cultural norms of the Thanksgiving and Christmas season.  So, how’s a family to navigate the holidays and help their children develop an attitude of gratitude rather than thinking the world revolves around them?

7 ways to help our kids develop an attitude of gratitude around the holidays:

1 – Visit a nursing home

It’s good for our kids to be around people who have less than they do – or who have needs they are able to fill.  The elderly people who live in nursing homes get very lonely.  Their families often live a distance away and can’t visit as often as they would like.  Most nursing home workers are happy to show you residents who would appreciate conversation or even just a smile.  And the residents will be thrilled to have kids in their midst – even if they are on the quiet side!

2 – Write thank-you notes

When children do receive gifts, have them write thank-you notes to show their appreciation.  This small gesture can go a long way toward helping them to realize how fortunate they are – and it’s appreciated by the giver as well.

3 – Recognize those who serve us

Have your kids make homemade gifts for the mailman, teachers, tutors, etc.  You can also take a batch of cookies to your local firehouse or police station!

4 – What are you grateful for?

At the end of each year, it’s a great discipline for each family member to make a list of things they’re grateful for that year.  Keep these lists in the same place so that you can review them from time to time.  Sometimes, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong in our lives.  This activity helps us to remember everything that’s going right.

5 – Look for ways to serve

Have your children set a goal to help someone out at least once a day without being asked.  This is a wonderful discipline for people of all ages.

6 – Have kids help out with chores

There’s a lot of work that goes into keeping a household running smoothly.  Kids will feel entitled when everything is done for them and they don’t have to pull their own weight.  Make sure your kids help out with the household chores.  This is a great way to give them more appreciation for the work it takes to keep the house clean.

7 – Model an attitude of gratitude

Children model their behavior after that of their parents.  Make sure they hear you saying “Please” and “Thank-you”.  Tell them things that you’re grateful for.  Let them see your servant heart.

This year, as you navigate the holidays, make an intentional effort to help your kids develop a grateful heart.  More than any other gift, helping them learn to be content and appreciative will be something that they will carry with them the rest of their lives.

Have you seen kids develop an entitlement mentality around the holidays? Have any other ideas for helping kids to be grateful and appreciative?  Please leave a comment below.

The post 7 Ways to Help Our Kids Develop an Attitude of Gratitude first appeared on True Aim.