Cheers,
Kathy Shea Mormino
The Chicken Chick
http://www.The-Chicken-Chick.com

Just speaking from my personal experience, staying together did NOT work for my sister and I. We’re only 13 months apart and we not only shared a bedroom, but we even slept in the same bed. We fought constantly and it drove my mother crazy. When we would get punished for fighting and made to sit down, she’d always have us sit right next to each other on the sofa, never on different chairs or in different rooms. We were never purposely separated for anything. And we never stopped fighting. Ever. To this day my sister and I (love each other fiercely but…) simply do not get along. We can’t even spend one day together without disagreeing or arguing or full-on yelling at each other. I think we desperately needed time apart and I think being purposely separated when we were younger would’ve done us a world of good.

That being said, I agree that both approaches can work depending on the particular situation. If the kids are already separate a good bit of the time but argue every time they’re together then the “tie ’em together” approach may be best. If the kids are constantly together as my sister and I were, I think some time apart is probably the best solution.

I was wondering the same thing, so I’m glad you clarified here. Thanks for the helpful advice, Janine!

No. My kids are still young so the longest I have separated them is one day. I just had them play alone. We still ate together and hung out as a family. The only difference is my two girls weren’t allowed to play with each other. They could even be in the same room, so long as they weren’t playing together.

Jodi, you are so right. There are definitely two approaches and I have found that both are very effective. In fact, I was really close to having a two-part post and having the second part give the “tie ’em together” advice. Both have advantages and disadvantages. The one advantage of separation is that it helps children appreciate their time together. Also, it more closely reflects in the real world. In the real world, two people are rarely forced to socialize.

So, if one child is mistreating other children, those kids while simply avoid him and he will have no friends. This teaches children if they want someone to play with, they have to treat other kindly or they will simply have no friends. Oh the other hand, my husband has a great story from his high school days at a boarding school, where he was forced to stick it out with a roommate and they ended up being best friends.

So in short, yes, I think both approaches can work – depending on the situation. Thanks for commenting Jodi. Maybe I will do that “tie ’em together” post after all.