Families who choose to homeschool have the opportunity to build strong families.

Because homeschooling families spend so much time together, they have a good chance of creating strong family ties.  Unfortunately, it’s also possible for homeschooling moms to become so focused on their children that they no longer give enough attention to their spouse.

Our family personally knows several Christian homeschool families whose marriages have been tragically split apart by divorce.  Don’t let this happen to you!

Here are 6 Ways for Homeschooling Moms to Strengthen their Marriages:

1.Don’t deny each other – Men typically require S-E-X more often than do their spouses.  A wise wife will recognize this need and won’t put her husband off when he wants some time with her in the bedroom.  If we deny our husbands on a regular basis, we are making it harder for them to keep their thoughts and actions pure.

By the way, this is Biblical.  1 Corinthians 7:5 says, “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

2. Make him a priority – When your husband calls you, answer the phone.  If he is trying to get your attention, be sure to give it to him.  Don’t make your husband wait in line behind your kids all of the time.  Serve him his food first.  Be sure to stock his favorite foods in the house.  Make him meals that you know he’ll enjoy.  Ask for his opinion.  Be intentional about doing things that will make him feel special.

Obviously, we can’t always give our husband preferential treatment.  There will be times when the kids need to be put to bed, or fed, or changed, or a myriad of other possibilities.  If we’ve made it a habit to give our husbands the attention that they crave, however, we’ll find that they will be patient when we need to do other things.

3. Leave white space on your calendar – Because most of our husbands are away from home all day long at their jobs, they appreciate being able to come home and relax in the evenings on occasion.  Be intentional about not filling up the family calendar with too many activities.  Try to do as much of your errand running during the day as possible.

There are different seasons in life.  When you have very small children, there will be times when you hand the baby to your husband as soon as he walks through the door so that you can have a much needed break.  When that isn’t the case, however, it’s good to try to give our husbands some time to relax now and then.  We need to remember that even though they weren’t home taking care of kids all day long, they were away at WORK not at REST.

4. Date your husband – Let’s face it – women are typically the social planners in the family.  And we are also the ones who usually dream about romance.  If we want to keep those warm feelings alive, we should be willing to plan the date nights.  Don’t feel pressured to plan these weekly, if that just isn’t realistic for your current phase of life.

However, if you can even swing monthly date nights, you will see a huge change in your marriage.  You and your husband need time ALONE together to reconnect and to talk about something other than the kids and their education.  Try to find a hobby that you both enjoy and can do together.

5. Greet him with a kiss – When your husband comes home from work, drop whatever you’re doing and greet him with a hug and a kiss.  Let him know right away that he’s special to you and that you’re happy to see him.  By the way, kissing your husband, flirting with him, and just generally having fun with him are all great ways to strengthen your marriage.  Keep it fun!

6. Don’t ignore your appearance – When we’re home all day long with the kids, it’s easy to neglect our appearance.  Be sure to brush your teeth, try to do something with your hair, and occasionally change out of your sweat pants.  This isn’t something you need to do every day; but remember that men are visual.  They will appreciate our effort to clean up for them now and again.

Homeschooling can become all consuming and our husbands can feel ignored.

If we want to come through the homeschool journey with our marriages intact, we need to remember to pay attention to our husbands as well as our children.  Well known relationship counselor Barbara de Angelis says, “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”

Obviously, it isn’t just the woman’s responsibility to work on the marriage.  However, there are plenty of other women out there who will give our husbands the attention they crave if we fail to do it.

Let’s work on being known for how well we treat our husbands.  Our entire family will benefit from us having stronger marriages!

The post 6 Ways for Homeschooling Moms to Strengthen their Marriages first appeared on True Aim.

I hadn’t had a sip of water or bite of food since breakfast. I felt sick and my legs ached. I wanted to head home, but I still had to catch the tail end of a Christmas party.

My wife had long since eaten and was playing card games when I entered. I practically crawled over to her, rubbing my temples trying to soothe a pounding headache.

Being that she loved me, had already eaten, and hadn’t just worked a twelve-hour shift, she innocently did the unthinkable; she offered to get me something eat. Luckily, no one heard her. But then, I did the unthinkable. In my delirium, I said, “Could you just get me a glass of water?”

Several women looked up from their game. One said, “Oh for heaven’s sake, get your own water!” Several chimed in, attacking me for such a wild and reckless display of chauvinism. Others surrounded my wife, explaining to her that she didn’t need to “serve” me, encouraging her to stand up to herself.

And I will never forget that last, oh-so-telling remark flung at me, “You should get HER a glass of water!”

This was only the beginning. There seems to be an endless stream of people who feel the need to champion equality. If they see my wife doing the dishes, they feel it is their duty to inquire whether I have done my half. When they catch my wife changing diapers, they feel it their right to know when was the last time I had changed a diaper. These constant insinuations that I am a chauvinist really just spur me on.

The hypocrisy doesn’t bother me. Never once has a person seen me mowing the lawn, or shoveling the snow, cleaning the chicken coop, moving furniture, fixing the fence, taking out the garbage, etc. and stopped to ask whether my wife had done her half. Apparently, equality means, I’m supposed to do ALL the man’s work, and half the woman’s work.

Oh, but excuse me, I just uttered a blasphemy! How dare I say WOMAN’S WORK! Is a man too good to change a diaper, or wash a dish?! Is he too proud to cook dinner or vacuum the floor?!

Of course, not. My wife does the woman’s work, because I am a gentleman and let her. She likes to cook, but doesn’t enjoy scrubbing toilets. So of course, I clean the bathrooms. She doesn’t mind diapers, but hates mowing the lawn. As it happens, I mow the lawn.

To be fair, it isn’t all about my wife. There are things that we both hate. For instance, we both hate washing the dishes and cleaning the chicken coop. In this case, my wife sacrificially does the dishes and I sacrificially clean the chicken coop. And when one of us is overloaded, the other steps in to pick up the slack. We are a team. And if my phrase, “woman’s work,” is ruining your sense of worth, then I can change it. I can call it “Janine’s work.” That way you don’t think I’m suggesting that ALL women should be forced to do the SAME work.

But remember, the reason some jobs became referred to as “woman’s work” and others “man’s work,” wasn’t due to scheming patriarchs, conspiring to make their wives miserable, but because it was work that most women, or most men, preferred. And if some of us still prefer it, why should we be bullied?

I’m not worried about myself, but please stop shaming my wife. She doesn’t need your feminism. She doesn’t need your protection. She doesn’t need your condescension. She is fully aware what century it is. She doesn’t need you to free her from a traditional gender role, only to force her into a non-traditional gender role. She is a grown woman, capable of making rational decisions with her husband.

Besides, as her husband, I care more about my wife’s wellbeing than all the feminists combined ever could!

The post My Wife does the Woman’s Work; Please Stop Shaming Her. first appeared on True Aim.

They are going to crucify him in the media, and ruin his entire family if they can. They hate him, and now that they have him, they are going to finish him.

Yet, I’m not here to defend Josh; I don’t know him, never watched his show, can’t tell you what type of person he really is, and only God knows if he is truly repentant or just sorry that he got caught.

But the media isn’t really after Josh, are they? Since when have they cared about porn? Since when have they cared about adultery? When their own Lena Dunham admitted to molesting her sister, they came in droves to defend her (for the record, I think both were wrong, but since they were both “children,” I don’t know that it is fair to call either a “child molester”).

Josh is being nailed to the wall by these people, not because of what he did, but because of what he stood for – Faith and family values. In ruining Josh’s reputation, they hope to further erode the faith and family movement.

But Josh was right and his story proves it! Josh went around the country claiming that adultery, pornography, child-molestation are evil, and lead to destruction. Isn’t that exactly what has happened to him? His secret sins and lusts have devastated his family, and ruined his reputation. Had he lived the family values he was preaching he wouldn’t be in this terrible situation.

However, as far as discrediting his Faith, the opposite is true. I do not know a Christian in the world who claims perfection. The Apostle Paul writes, “It is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans 7)

Josh is a Christian man, raised in a Christian home, admitting he is addicted to porn. That is how powerful and dangerous pornography is.

Now, if men raised in Christian homes were the only ones addicted to porn, then the media would have something. They could say “See, those values lead to lust and adultery.” But that isn’t the case. Pornography is rampant in the US, and around the world. Christians rally against pornography precisely because we see that it is a dangerous temptation for us, our spouses, our sons and daughters, and our neighbors and their families.

It is not hypocritical to profess a “moral ideal” that we know we can’t keep, but it IS hypocritical to claim a “moral ideal” doesn’t exist simply because we can’t keep it. To the world, lust is an indulgence, to the Christian a temptation. Still, our society loves to fling temptation into our faces, and then condemn us when we join them in their indulgences.

Now,  as far as the media’s attempt to discredit our Faith because of Josh’s moral shortcomings, nothing could be more sinister and dishonest. Christianity has never claimed to be a religion of morally perfect people. In fact, it makes the exact opposite claim. It claims that all of us are sinners in need of a Savior. Josh proved that!

Christians already knew Josh was a sinner from the beginning. We certainly didn’t need the media to tell us that. Now we know to what extent, but our message remains the same: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:23)

There are consequences for sin, and Josh is going to suffer those. Yet, what he has done proves all the more that America needs to embrace “family values,” and that we all are in need of a Savior, Jesus Christ, who paid the penalty for all sins, even terrible ones like Josh has committed.

To the Christians who are crushed by Josh’s shortcomings, perhaps you have created an idol of him? You were right to expect better, but Josh is not our spokesman – Jesus Christ is. And Jesus will not let you down!

The post Josh Duggar was RIGHT! What He Did Proves That first appeared on True Aim.

Making birthdays special for the man that has everything can be hard to do. Doing little things throughout the day to make your husband feel special will mean more than a big store-bought gift. So here are 10 ways to make your Husband feel special on his birthday.

Some guys aren’t used to getting love notes or specials surprises from their wives, that’s when it is really special to do something out of the ordinary. My Husband just turned 30 and I wanted to do something to make his day memorable.

10 Ways to Make Your Husband’s Birthday Special

Before the big day, I made my plans and went to Walmart. The first thing I shopped for was the cards. Hallmark has a great selection of cards start at 47 cents.

We always get 2 cards. I let the kids pick one out and I select a special one from me. While I was there I got lots of different cards for other occasions that were coming up, that way I would be prepared ahead of time.

1. Breakfast in Bed

Have you ever done this? Sometimes it’s not that easy. Your husband may need to get up early for work. In that case, you can always make a hot breakfast in a bag to go. One of the easiest things to make is a breakfast sandwich with eggs, ham, and cheese on a bagel or English muffin. Wrap it in tin foil to keep it hot and include a side of fruit or yogurt. Don’t forget the birthday note or Hallmark card from the kids!

2. Birthday Notes in the Car

Surprise him throughout the day by hiding special notes or Hallmark cards in his car. Places to hid them; the glove box, visor, center console, on his umbrella.

3. Birthday Surprise in His Desk

What’s your husband‘s favorite snack or candy bar? Get a co-worker to hide his special snack in his desk or locker at work. If he’s not working, you can dress up his snacks in a special way.

4. Skip the Sack Lunch

Have lunch delivered for him at work or go and pick up his favorite take out and deliver it for him. Yum yum!

Also check out Ways to Build up Your Husband:

5. Get His Boss to Make Him Leave Early

This might be difficult, but it would be very special and surprising if his boss said, “Happy Birthday, you can leave early today!” If your husband already has the day off, you can spare him all the housework for the day. Have the kids do his chores, fold his laundry, and make the bed.

6. Balloons

Balloons just make everything more fun! Make a surprise wall of balloons when he comes out of his room in the morning. Decorate the house with Balloons or his car so that when he gets off early he’ll be really surprised!

Source

7. An Adventure

Instead of getting your husband some thing, plan him an experience to remember. Some ideas are: a helicopter ride, balloon ride, tour of fighter jets, a boat or rafting trip, mountain climbing adventure, zip line tour. If he gets off work early to go, have everything he needs ready to go.

8. Dinner

If you’re not having a party or going out to eat, make dinner special by serving his favorite, or something fancy. Have the kids dress up and serve him like he’s in a restaurant. Of course, having a surprise party is always fun too.

9. The Gift

If you do get a gift, wrapping it in an oversize box will help disguise it. Or, make it fun and do a little scavenger hunt. Draw a map and let your husband find it! Offer encouraging clues about how much you care for him to lead him to the gift and make him feel even more special!

10. Your Card

I always like to save my Hallmark card for the end of the day. Just to make it personal and share a special moment.

What do you do to make your husband’s birthday special?

You might also like:

Celebrate fathers with these great movies!

The post 10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Special on His Birthday first appeared on True Aim.

We love and understand each other far deeper than we did on our wedding day. The following marriage tips are what I have found to really make a difference in our family.

A lot of marriage advice seems to only teach you how to keep a smile on your face while you put a band-aid on your problems and hope for the best. That is not what I want as a wife or as a Christian woman.

I want my marriage to serve the greater purpose of glorifying God, and all the rest will come more naturally once priorities are in the right order and our eyes are on eternity. I want to really get to the heart of any issues that arise and prevent them in the first place. Here are 10 of my favorite tips that have made a difference in my own marriage.

Advice for Marriages That Will Last a Lifetime

Keep Jesus First and at the Center

Keep Jesus First and at the Center – This is more than the occasional prayer together before meals or bed. This means having an accountability to each other to be spending quality time with the Lord both together and separately. My husband and I especially love to worship together.

All problems (marriage or otherwise) seem smaller when placed in His capable hands. This intimacy with God helps marriage on so many levels. We are more humble, kind, forgiving, understanding, etc. with each other. When you are at peace and less stressed or worried about life’s problems, you are going to be more patient and less critical of your spouse. We are better spouses when we are walking closely with the Lord.

Maintain Your Original Friendship

One thing that most people love about the dating phase is having fun getting to know each other and becoming each other’s best friend. Well, don’t stop!

It is important to keep celebrating one another and laughing together. Here’s a fun fact – It is (nearly) impossible to be stressed and really laugh at the same time! I have found that when my husband and I laugh and have fun together, I appreciate and enjoy him so much more.

Don’t Serve Leftovers

I’m not talking about food here. I’m talking about you and your energy and attention. How do you feel when you can tell you are last on someone’s priority list? Not good. So, don’t give everyone and everything else your best only to offer your family what is left over.

A surefire way to grow apart from someone is to spend NO quality time together. Make sure you offer your best to your family. Part of this is learning to say no and live at a slower pace.

Steer Clear of Unrealistic Expectations

You need to protect your heart against unrealistic expectations. Remain mindful and cautious when reading romance novels or watching romantic movies. Love is not always romantic like that, especially after kids come along. It should still be at times, but that is not the purpose of marriage, nor should it be all that fulfills you.

Here is a great quote from Joy Forney – “Real romance is finding that one spot in the crook of his arm to snuggle into, that shared look over the dinner table when the kids are acting crazy, and the way he fixes the leaky sink when he is dog-tired after work.”

My husband stole my heart again when he got in the tub last week to give our newest baby her first bath. That’s real love from a real man.

Know Where Your Worth Comes From

Find your worth and security in the Lord. He is what gives us meaning, not our significant other. Finding your worth and fulfillment in another human being will only result in disappointment, not to mention the unfair pressure that it places on your spouse.

Don’t Compare

Do not compare your husband to other husbands. That is a pitfall that will only lead to self-pity, anger, criticism, envy, etc. Besides, you have no idea what another husband may be like behind closed doors, so in addition to it being wrong and detrimental, it is impossible to do accurately, which only hurts the situation further. We should be trying to better our own flaws rather than shining a light on our spouse’s anyway.

Love in Their Language

Ask the right questions to make sure you know how to best serve, love, and support your spouse. What means a lot to you may mean nothing to them, so make sure you are serving in their love language rather than your own. It is important to keep asking the right questions because the answers may change as your relationship grows.

Don’t Do Marriage Alone

You should have some form of accountability outside of your marriage. This can be an older Christian couple whom you respect or separate individuals (a woman for the wife and a man for the husband) whom you can share with and remain accountable to with struggles that may arise. However, this is not a free for all pass to complain about your spouse.

Always Speak Positively about Your Spouse

As tempting as it may be sometimes, never throw your spouse under the bus. It does no good to complain or speak negatively about your significant other to other people, especially in front of them. It is disrespectful and only feeds any problems you are having. Above all, this includes your children! Never undermine your husband or wife in front of your kids.

PRAYER

The most important and impactful thing you can do for your marriage and your spouse is pray for them! This is not meant to be a self-serving prayer checklist, but rather placing your spouse, their heart and mind, and their struggles at the Lord’s feet. Wives, check out the prayer section of a post I wrote on Encouraging Your Husband to get ideas and ways in which you can pray for your husband.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the purpose of marriage is to be happy or to feel fulfilled or complete. I desire to be happy and make my husband happy, but that comes naturally once our Biblical priorities are in order. If we are living how God wants us to, then marriage can be one of life’s greatest blessings!

Please comment below with some of your favorite marriage tips!

The post No Longer Newlyweds: Marriage Advice That Works! first appeared on True Aim.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God should be, and deserves to be, our #1 priority (Matt. 22:37-38). The Bible also talks about the importance of marriage and the relationship between husband and wife.

So many verses specifically speak to women about the role that a husband should play in their lives (Eph. 5:22-24; 1 Cor. 11:3-9; Gen. 2:20-25; Gen. 3:16-20; Col. 3:18-21), and these verses show me that my husband should be the second most important priority in my life.

Of course, the dynamics within a family are always changing, and there are times when each person has certain needs that must be placed before others. But in general, I believe the healthiest households are created when a mother places God first, followed by her husband, and then their children close behind.

100+ Ideas to Love and Encourage Your Husband

It is so easy for parents to focus so much on their children that their marriage relationship suffers from neglect. I think my husband and I have done a pretty good job of not allowing our relationship to take a back seat, but I know that I could do a much better job of making sure that my husband feels respected, loved, and encouraged by me.

With this in mind, I have put together this list of all different ways in which I can do just that, including gifts, prayers, words of affirmation and encouragement, date ideas, meaningful conversation starters, and more.

Gifts

Is receiving gifts one of your husband’s love languages? If so, here are some ideas to build him up:

• Framed Photo – Put one of his favorite photos of you with an encouraging love note in a frame. I did this in our first year of marriage, and to this day, my husband says that it is his favorite gift that I’ve ever given him.
• Intimacy box/jar – Put $1 (or whatever increment you decide) inside a special container every time you have intimate time with your husband, and save it for a big anniversary trip in the future.
• Traveling journal – Keep a journal for writing love notes to your spouse and leave it somewhere for them to find it each time you do (i.e. nightstand, car, fridge, table, anywhere). Then, he can write a note back and leave it somewhere for you as well.
• Something He Needs – Save up and buy something that he needs but hasn’t wanted to spend the money, or buy that something in place of something that you were planning to get for yourself.
• Romantic Bedroom Gifts – No man in the history of the world has ever been disappointed by a gift or surprise for the bedroom!
• Love Notes – Leave them anywhere, such as on the bathroom mirror, in the car, on the nightstand, etc. They can be as basic or elaborate as you’d like. You could even put lined paper or something that says “I love you because…” inside a frame and leave it in the bedroom for writing notes to each other with a dry erase marker. Click on the photo below to see how this cute little project was made.

Date Ideas

Your marriage relationship probably started as a friendship where each of you had lots of fun together and enjoyed each other’s company and conversation. Don’t forget to keep having fun! Plus, husbands need to be romanced sometimes, too. My man likes when I plan a date for the two of us or surprise him with an overnight trip. Here is a list of links to some awesome date ideas, including many that can be planned for right at home after the kids go to bed:

• 79 Date Nights
• 150+ Date Night Ideas categorized by price range
• 50 Fun and Cheap Date Ideas
• 30 Ideas for a Date Night at Home

Words to Say

Some men thrive on words of affirmation, and I compiled this list of loving and encouraging words from here and here. They may seem simple, silly, obvious, or mundane, but a simple word can go a long way and hold a lot of power when spoken in love. Even if you do not feel this way 100% of the time, speaking truth and life into your husband’s mind will build him up and spur him further toward becoming the man God wants him to become.

• I love you.
• I trust you.
• I believe in you.
• I value your leadership.
• I admire you.
• I feel safe with you.
• You were right. I was wrong.
• I appreciate all you do for our family.
• I’m glad I married you.
• I missed you.
• I want you.
• Thank you for being dependable.
• You’re an awesome man of God.

Prayer

Prayer is so powerful! After only 5 years and 3 children, I have come to learn that nagging accomplishes absolutely nothing. Instead, praying for your husband can make all the difference in the world. It is so important to pray for him through good times and bad and even for things that he does not struggle with because footholds often emerge where you do not feel vulnerable. These two links provide excellent ways in which we can pray for our husbands:

• 10 Ways to Pray for Your Husband
• 25 Prayers for My Husband

Connection and Communication

There are times for words and times for silence, but it is so important to a marriage relationship to connect and communicate well. Here are some links to lists of questions that may be fun and eye-opening to talk to your other half about and encourage some meaningful conversation:

• 110 His and Her Questions
• 50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on Date Night
• 28 Questions (at the bottom of the page)

Other Ways to Love and Serve Your Husband

• 100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way
• 12 Ways to Love Your Hubby without Saying a Word
• 6 Ways to Build Up Our Husbands

I hope this list inspires you to work on becoming a more loving and encouraging wife and gives you a lot of ideas to help show your husband what he means to you. None of us are perfect, and we can all improve! Do you have any insights or suggestions to add? Feel free to share with us below!

The post 100+ Ways to Love and Build Up Your Husband first appeared on True Aim.

That is what they want you to think; but nothing has changed.

Marriage is what it has always been, a Godly union between a man and a woman. The Supreme Court doesn’t have the power to change that.

Sadly, most Christians in America are very confused. If you ask them what the highest law in the United States is, they will proudly proclaim, “the Constitution.”

Of course, they are wrong. That is the second highest law. The first is God’s law. And all the judges in the universe, even if they voted unanimously, couldn’t change God’s law.

These courts aren’t changing, but rejecting marriage laws. They aren’t upholding the law, they are breaking it. This isn’t new and progressive. It’s the ancient rebellion of man rejecting God.

Homosexuals can pretend that they can get married, but that doesn’t change marriage. Just like when the supreme court legalized abortion, it didn’t make the atrocity anything less than the murder of innocents – the same as Pharaoh and Herod, just on a much larger scale.

Sadly, most Christians, aren’t sure if homosexuality is even a sin anymore. With churches hardly addressing the issue anymore, and schools working over time to condition acceptance, it is no wonder.

So, why is homosexuality a sin? Here we go.

Whether you are Adam, Saul, Jonah, or anybody else, disobedience to God is a sin. You may not understand why you can’t eat the forbidden fruit, but you must obey, trusting that God who created all, knows what’s best for you. So did God forbid homosexuality? It couldn’t be clearer:

Leviticus 18:22

You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Sadly, it is the homosexuals that will be hurt the most from this “ruling.”

Every form of sin is its own punishment. God, who is infinitely good and wise, created men and women to meet each others’ needs. He might have just created another man for Adam, but He created something different, understanding that she would best suit Adam’s needs and desires, and he her’s.

We already see homosexuals suffering, having higher rates of domestic abuse, disease, abandonment, drug use, depression and suicide.

Instead of seeing the malcontent in their own community as a sign of their own bad choices, they imagine that it is society’s lack of acceptance driving them to the fringes.

If society would just condone and even celebrate their lifestyles, then they’d truly be free to live happily ever after in sin. But they will soon find on the other side of a marriage license, that what wasn’t meant to be, still won’t work.

Of course, they aren’t the only ones making the discovery. Straight couples have tried to form their unGodly lifestyle into God’s mold, and they aren’t fairing any better.

You can’t embrace no-fault divorce, abortion, pornography, strip clubs, prostitution, premarital sex, and cohabitation, and have a successful marriage. In other words, just being straight will not ensure a good marriage. You have to fit your relationship into God’s mold, and only then will it work.

So the good news is, your marriage is between you, your spouse and God. This Supreme Court’s decision will have no effect on that. The Supreme Court can’t ruin your marriage, only you, or your spouse, can do that. The bad news is that our nation has, at every turn, rejected God.

Obama said, “Whatever we once were, we’re no longer just a Christian nation.”

He is right. God help us.

The post Don’t Worry, the Supreme Court Can’t Ruin Your Marriage first appeared on True Aim.

In 1969 California passed the first “No-Fault” divorce law and the rest of the states followed suit. This gave Americans the idea that they had a right to divorce their spouses for any reason at all, and when I talk to people about their reasons for divorcing, that is just what I get, any-reason-at-all:

I don’t love him anymore, she doesn’t love me anymore, we aren’t the same people, he looked at pornography, she racked up tons of debt, he is lazy, she is fat, he is a slob, he’s too hard on the kids, she’s let herself go, he cares more about his work than me, she doesn’t want to work, he doesn’t go to Church, she is a “B-word”, he is abusive, she is an alcoholic, he is on drugs, she is in prison … you get the idea.

Now at this time I am not going to tell you what is or isn’t a good reason to divorce, or even say that you shouldn’t separate until these issues are resolved, I am just going to caution you from being too hasty.

Before you write off your marriage and divorce that unworthy spouse of yours, I want to remind you that marriage isn’t about a contract; it’s about a family. So put your reason for wanting a divorce to the Family-Test:

If your son didn’t appreciate you, would you divorce him? If you didn’t get along with your daughter, would you divorce her?

If your son looked at pornography, would you divorce him? If your daughter got fat and let herself go, would you divorce her?

If your son cared more about his friends than you, would you divorce him? If your daughter was an alcoholic, would you divorce her?

If your son went to prison, would you divorce him? If your daughter was verbally abusive, would you divorce her?

I know a mother who is actually much younger than she looks. She has two delinquent adult children. Both have been in and out of jail several times, for offenses ranging from drugs to grand theft auto.

The entire world would look at her offspring and find zero redeemable qualities. Yet somehow, despite all the abuse her children shower on her, this mother never gives up – fully convinced that her children are worth fighting for.

I think she’s a little crazy, and I tell her to stand up for herself, but she won’t hear it because, for better or worse, she loves them unconditionally. I can respect that. On the other hand, she’s been divorced several times because her husbands were “idiots” and they didn’t really appreciate her kids (my goodness, who could?).

For some reason divorcing our children isn’t even an option, is it? Because, for better or worse, they are ours and we love them. If we loved our spouses like this, for better or worse as we promised, divorce could not exist.

They may not deserve our love, but we swore an oath to give it just the same. In fact, if there was ever a case for divorce, it was between Christ and us. Yet, having committed every sin against Him, He stayed committed, even as it was costing Him His life.

May God bless and keep your marriage.

If you need help in your marriage, I highly recommend (affiliate link) Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.

The post Before You Decide to Divorce first appeared on True Aim.