By: Claire B.

Claire B. — Fri, 07 Jun 2019 16:57:02 +0000

Thank you for these reminders! I feel your pain a little!
I do have 3 other toxic troubles I grew up with and now struggle with myself: 1. equating mess ups with sin. 2. Bringing it up later. 3. Degrading the dad.
1. Nobody is perfect so perfection is an unrealistic expectation. Making room for failure leads to a much more open relationship.
2. If the matter has been addressed and dealt with, it should be done period. No callbacks. If my child finds I refuse to bring up a past offence, they might more readily believe in God’s gift of sins forgiven and gone.
3. This is the hardest legacy to break in my mind. Listing and relisting the faults of any Dad will not help ANY situation. It is better to hear an understanding of the way he is and find a way to encourage the good. Praise the Dad! In front of the kids, especially! Even the little stuff, even if not done to Mom’s pleasure.
I find myself constantly berating my husband over little things in my mind. But it reminds me of what my mom would say and I could see the injustice of it. A nasty habit that gives many a woman a bitter heart.
I appreciate your being vulnerable, Tatyana! I hope and pray you can one day have a better relationship with your mom!+

Comments on: Be a Better Mother – 5 Ways to Avoid Toxic Motherhood

By: Claire B.